Friends all have bigger issues than me so feel I can’t talk about mine

[Ihearticecream]

Whenever I meet up with friends it feels like I constantly have to be the strong one and therefore don’t feel I can bring up how I’m feeling as I feel I will sound petty in comparison.
I’m not really sure what to do and I would really like to sometimes just have a fun meet up without the heavy conversation.
But then feel I’m being selfish.

I hear you. I'm in a similar position. But I would say, try it. Making yourself vulnerable by opening up can strengthen the relationship, as long as your friends are good friends. In which case they would be pleased to have the chance to help or listen to you.

You can preface it with a disclaimer, like I know this seems minor given your concerns, but this is troubling me....

Thank you that is a good idea.
Love the username btw

It sounds like there are two issues - one is that you'd like to meet up and just have fun with your friends sometimes, and the other is that you don't feel you can open up about any problems you have as your friends' problems seem more serious.

Both issues come back to the fact that your friends seem to have a lot of problems, and talking about those problems takes over all your interactions.

Do you think this is down to them genuinely having serious stuff going on right now, or have they got in the habit of moaning about anything and everything?

Because if your friends (all of them?) have serious stuff going on, then I can see they migh not feel able to loosen up and have fun right now, but if it's the latter then perhaps you need to try new friends.

Having some fun with friends can actually be more helpful than endlessly analysing your problems, so would be good for your friends too. Plus, they should give you space to talk about your stuff as well.

Thank you. Yes one of my friends has PND, one is having marriage counselling, one’s child is being bullied and one’s child has a lot of illnesses. These are the friends I see the most. I do have other friends who live a bit further away so am thinking I need to start making more of an effort to go and see them now restrictions are lifted, as we seemed to just drift a bit with only being local and meeting outside etc.