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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling really sad due to boyfriends

12 replies

Londongirl8898 · 17/03/2022 06:39

Problems. Out of the blue last summer he had to give up working. He has done all the right things. But because the system is the way it is. He's worked too hard and has no entitlements money wise apart from the tiniest bit of uc. So he's ended up slowly owing rent council tax, gas and electric etc. He's been using food banks. Going to charities. He's been begging the council for help. Explaining his situation to charities. He's under a free Councillor paid for through a charity. He's done absolutely everything he can. He's loosing his home today but can't leave as there's nowhere for him. He's got no food in his house. He's depressed and anxious. We don't know what to do anymore.

I've been awake 4 hours trying to figure out what to do. But I feel like he's never going to get through this. He's going to end up on the streets or in serious debt. We wanted a life together and it's like it's been snatched away as this will ruin his credit rating and he's never going to be able to rent privately or get a mortgage when he's in such a mess.

I just feel he's been completely failed by the system and its no wonder suicide rates are so high in the UK.

OP posts:
Turmerictolly · 17/03/2022 06:51

Really sorry to hear this. Is he in a large town? Are there really no jobs in retail, hospitality, care work (they usually offer training such is the shortage). Can you help him out?

Opentooffers · 17/03/2022 07:05

'Out of the blue' sounds a bit vague. Are we talking due to illness - in which case has entitled to support? Be careful, because some of this may not be adding up. If he has no savings despite earning whatever in the past, he is as entitled to as much as anyone else. How long have you been seeing him, is it since before this happened? Whatever you do, don't prematurely move him in with you. It is for him to work out.

Bananalanacake · 17/03/2022 07:27

How long have you been together. Don't let him move in with you, he's an adult and can look after himself.

NotaCoolMum · 17/03/2022 07:28

@Opentooffers

'Out of the blue' sounds a bit vague. Are we talking due to illness - in which case has entitled to support? Be careful, because some of this may not be adding up. If he has no savings despite earning whatever in the past, he is as entitled to as much as anyone else. How long have you been seeing him, is it since before this happened? Whatever you do, don't prematurely move him in with you. It is for him to work out.
This 100%

Can you clarify “he’s worked too hard so has no entitlements..”?

GeneLovesJezebel · 17/03/2022 07:29

Is depression and anxiety why he has lost his job and got into debt ?
If yes, what steps has he taken to help himself ?

bluedodecagon · 17/03/2022 07:30

Can he move in with parents?

girlmom21 · 17/03/2022 07:35

Why did he have to give up work? Is there no way he can go back?

Does he have no friends or family?

KatherineJaneway · 17/03/2022 07:47

I think you post about this same guy quite often?

If so, you've been given some good advice. He is not worth your time.

70kid · 17/03/2022 07:48

Is he not getting the rent element of UC

Turningpurple · 17/03/2022 07:53

Its all a bit vague.

He had to give work out of the blue. But doesn't get any financial help because he has worked too hard? That suggests alot or money in savings and/or assets. Once he has gone below a certain threshold he would have got some help in benefits.

So how has he got into debt? If he had sustained savings to live on?

Mn can offer you loads of advice, but being vague won't help you. Because no one can give advice on vague information.

But at the moment, you post read as though (for whatever reason) he isn't very responsible financially and may be trying to get you to let him move in.

I, too, suspect you have posted about him before. A man who was trying to force you to let him move in, by telling you he was being evicted.

If its the same man, he is taking the piss.

Fatgalslim · 17/03/2022 08:03

Do you think he's awake in the early hours worrying or is he expecting you to solve everything for him?

You've posted about this guy many, many times with the same advice - thrown this one in the bin

unicornsarereal72 · 17/03/2022 08:08

He can declare nil
Income to the council. And they will help with rent and basics. He wouldn't be left with nothing.

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