Baby daddy issues

[Anonymous567]

Me and my baby daddy broke up a few months ago as a mutual decision; he instigated by asking to be friends and I said I didn’t want to remain friends but I’d be civil for LO’s sake. The relationship was us arguing over the smallest of things and I mentally couldn’t handle it especially I was always blamed and never thanked for doing stuff. I visited him a couple weeks ago and we had an amazing couple of days but recently I’m just built up with so much anger and upset with him I don’t want to speak to him;

His family say he’s tried speaking to me but it feels like he only does it when his parents tell him to do it, he makes sarcastic comments to me and I locked him out of the flat as he was meant to help me clean it out but I could tell he didn’t actually want to do it and he got angry at me for it.

His family say he’s struggling without me and LO when I’m at my families but when he’s around me it feels like he doesn’t care about me or LO and his mates and going out are a priority. I don’t know if we are just different with communication and maturity or what but I just don’t know what to do; I don’t need him bringing me down because he’s in a bad mood and that’s why I only speak to him in regards to our LO

What’s a baby daddy?

The dad of my child :)

Im not sure what the dilemma is though I can hear that you're really hurt by this, not surprisingly.

It sounds like his family (who? particular members) are telling you things about his feelings that don't often match what you're seeing in his actions. But sometimes he is good to be with and you wonder if you've made the right decision.

Maybe try and take the heat out of this a bit? It's great that you see his family for your child's sake but you don't really have to take what they say on board. It means they like you, they think you're good for him, they wish you were together. Thank them for being nice but take it with a pinch of salt.

As for him - he's allowed to be unenthusiastic about doing stuff, but he also sounds like hard work. Yes he sounds immature and not a great communicator. Would you want to be with him, if he were different? Or if he is how he is now? Because it's best to want someone the way they are. And its OK not to want them.

How old are you both?
In my experience, if his only real interest is his friends and going out he will never change!

All you can do is make sure that you have arrangements set in stone for your dc and move on with your life.

Is he staying with his family?

My ex's mother rang me once asking why o wasn't taking him back. She just didn't want to be lumbered with him.

Hi everyone,

Thank you for the posts! Deep down I do wanna be with him and I do love him but there’s just been too much damage for me to be able to go back to the relationship atm; he’s 20 years old and I’m 22, I understand the night life as I myself want to go out but he goes out almost every week and expects me to travel 3 hours on the train with our son so he can see him. He has his own house but goes back to his mums on evenings for dinner, I tried my hardest while pregnant for the relationship- I put in for our flat and his current house, I set up all the bills and got the food in and I’d run him baths and buy him video games and I got yelled at for some of my clothes being on the floor bearing in mind I’m a university student as well, he’s currently on his own now sorting it all out without me or his mum helping and he told his mum he’s a “bit” lonely and that he wanted to see me and our son but in person it’s like I’m an embarrassment or I don’t exist

I don't think there is much of a difference in maturity cause u both sound very immature? Like you locked him out of the house he lived in cause u "felt" he didn't want to clean the house? Like whaaaat!!!