I'm posting this on here first, rather than lone parents, as I wanted to gain a wider perspective. Hope thats ok.
I've been running a few threads over the last few weeks regarding my exp leaving when our child was just born. It was (is) still a very painful situation, but I'm working towards trying to deal with the practical aspects of the breakup now.
One of these, is my childs name. Her father and I were not married, although had talked about it. I gave our dd his name when she was born, on the understanding that we would all end up with the same name eventually. He decided to end the relationship literally 2 weeks after we had her registered.
My problem is this: I do not want to go through life with a different surname to my child. I have already been in 2 incidences recently where I had to prove I was her mother ( airport, and hospital). I felt really aggrieved about that and it brought home the reality of the situation. I'm thinking of our future, if I meet soeone else, my dd having a different name to her siblings etc.There are many people who are in this situaiton, and it doesnt bother them- but it bothers me- we are all different I guess.
I know that I cannot legally change her surname without his consent ( he is still involved in childs life), nor would I want to do it like that. I need to make it clear that my reasons behind wanting to change her name are not borne out of spite, revenge, or anything else. I realise he also has the right for his child to share his surname- but I'm the one bringing her up, and so the impact of our different surnames, I imagine, will impact on her and I, more than it would him.
The only option I have is to raise it with him, explain things as I've just done, and hope that he might consent. Things have been pretty bad between us recently, so feel nervous that he may just tell me to get lost, but before I even go there, I want to ask you guys....is this a terrible thing to do?