I am sorry if I ramble a bit with this, but right now it's like I am living an ongoing nightmare with probably no end in sight.
My life over the past 30 years with my husband hasn't been easy, in fact, it's been mostly heartbreaking and full of anxiety and sadness. From him being a gambling addict and going through 2 court cases of embezzlement which led to him losing various jobs, to his drinking (he's not an alcoholic but I think he can be borderline sometimes), to his rude behaviour (not all the time), disrespect and recently his estrangement from our 23 year old daughter who has had enough of him (she lives with us and sees his behaviour). With all this, I have supported him, forgiven and tried to keep our marriage. I guess you can call me insecure and just wanting to be happy (I had a traumatic childhood, so I think this may have a lot to do with who I am as a person).
The last straw is now - I found out 3 weeks ago that while on his job (he does shift work) - he has been texting over the last 3 months a female co-worker who is believe it or not 23 years old (yes, same age as our daughter). She has filed a sexual harassment complaint with the company he works for and Fair Work. The evidence she provided with screen shots of texts was gut wrenching for me and with all the things that he has done in the past, this was the last thing I ever thought he would do. She supported her complaint with a lengthy report of incidences that happened at the workplace as well as outside of the workplace with him contacting her. For example, he would text her to send him a photo of her ("naughty one please"), and other inappropriate things. She then wrote a comprehensive report detailing all the incidences that occurred which were quite shocking. He has denied all that she has written in the report, but can't deny the texts, but hasn't really explained why he did that. He's blaming her for some strange reason. They have not had a physical relationship and from what I suspect, she has being rejecting him and then he started turning on her and complaining about her work, and then she filed the suit.
Unfortunately, his company (he has been there over 8 years) has given him an alternative - either resign or be sacked. He has now resigned with shame and is trying to find another job in the same field, but needs a police check and other criminal checks which of course will bring up his past offences (over 20 years ago). He is waiting on those checks as they are under scrutiny.
My anxiety is through the roof, I'm living hour by hour, day by day. My kids know and are disgusted and are urging me to leave their dad. They have no respect for him.
There's so much more I can add to this, but I can go on for a while.
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading thus far.