I've posted about my relationship on MN before and have been told it's abusive/controlling and to leave. I'm trying to.
I am abroad and wanted to train as a psychologist. I had to do another undergraduate. DH agreed with this plan. Until it came to childcare and then he didn't agree to sufficient childcare for me to attend all lectures (they're mandatory), so it was impossible. So, I studied with the OU and did it part time, to give me more flexibility with childcare.
So a 3 year degree becomes 6.
However, during that time I became unable to live with him and eventually told him we needed to divorce. This was 6 years ago and he's still living here. Divorce not much further on, but I've picked it up again. I was suicidal before I tried to end the relationship as I couldn't see any way out. Continuing to live together since has been psychologically horrendous. His controlling behaviours are almost the same. Three years ago the stress made me so ill I had to postpone the following academic year. I then did that academic year last year and directly due to stress caused by him, I ended up in bed unable to walk further than the bathroom. I was just broken. I then had to postpone this year too.
So degree will now be 8 years.
Now, I have nothing else on my cv in this time other than some small courses I've been doing plus language courses which I need to work here and do further study. But it's not like it's full time. Covid hasn't helped, admittedly, but that's not the reason I've done no volunteering work, not studied at a more normal pace. I truly haven't been able, and as the kids got older, the physical toll of the stress increased.
One day I'm going to sit in front of an interview panel and be asked why I took 8 years for a 3 year degree. I just don't know what to say. I had a panic attack about this today. It's been stressing me for ages, but peaked today.
I don't want to lie and say I was a "homemaker" because I'm really not. I don't want to tell a bunch of strangers whose job it is to judge me that I've been abused. But at the same time, I'm actually very proud that I've managed to keep myself alive through the most awful, longest times when I felt I didn't deserve a place on this planet due to how I was being/am being treated. It's one of my biggest achievements, so it really pisses me off that it's a gap on my CV. I've studied entirely alone as there are no OU study groups here, had only online tutorials, no day schools etc. it's me, my books and the screen. When covid lockdown started it felt like suddenly I wasn't alone, everybody was living my life. I've also not had emotional support with it because DH views it as my "hobby" (because it's not full time and I've taken two years out...). I barely know people here because I've either been studying or with the kids/doing evening routine etc.
I am sure I'm not the only one who has been in this type of situation. So I'm wondering what you did. I'm also guessing there are people out there who sit in interview panels or work in mental health services and have maybe got some advice?
My apologies for the length of this. I might fall asleep soon and didn't want to come back later and drip feed.