Ghosted for the third time, what is wrong with me.

[Robbierolo]

Third time it's happened with third guy from OLD
What's wrong with me :(

I wouldn’t consider that ghosting, tbh. You’ve either not met these people at all or only met them once. I don’t think you’re really owed an explanation at that point. They’re just not interested.

It must feel very unpleasant, but there’s almost certainly nothing wrong with you.

You need to learn not to get too involved, it's nothing until you've been out several times and you've agreed you're at least seeing each other, if not exclusively dating. Until that point assume he's still looking and dating other people and you need to do the same.

I wouldn't talk to anyone for more than two weeks without meeting, if they're interested they'll make time for a quick coffee. During that two weeks keep looking and talking to other men, don't fall into saying good morning and good night, constant messaging back and forth, you need to play it cool. It's too easy to get sucked in by a man who has no interest in dating and just wants virtual company. It's a game.

This is just the mild end of bad behaviour, and bad behaviour is normal behaviour. You need to start detached and not take it personally. It you are new to it, it will feel hurtful, but as you grow a thick skin and range the range of shite behavior, you’ll come to accept it.

I was ghosted last week by a guy I had been messaging for ten months and dating for two months. I seen him on Sunday night and he disappeared Monday. Tried to message on Wednesday and did not hear from him again. Still no news. But he has been back on Bumble.

I have had countless examples which are similar from friends.

I dont even send an angry closure text but I was very close to with this last one!

Point is dont take it personally. There are loads of these types of guys about and the majority of woman have encountered it.

Men and women ghost people, it's common with OLD.
Shrug, next.

@Trippingslippingx1

I was ghosted last week by a guy I had been messaging for ten months and dating for two months. I seen him on Sunday night and he disappeared Monday. Tried to message on Wednesday and did not hear from him again. Still no news. But he has been back on Bumble.

I have had countless examples which are similar from friends.

I dont even send an angry closure text but I was very close to with this last one!

Oh my goodness, that is horrendous. I can't believe someone would do something like that to another human. How cowardly. Absolutely do call him out on it. I'm a bit bored of the whole 'walk away with dignity' line. No. Tell him how horrendous he's behaved.

There’s too much choice through online dating. Always looking for a better “hit” is what I imagine. It’s brutal.

@arethereanyleftatall I would have done before - but honestly do not see the point now. He does not care, probably married, met someone else etc.

He will probably see the message and laugh. Honestly. These guys do not care at all. I honestly am starting to think these dating app men are a different breed. It has taken me a long while to get to this point. I will have a cry to myself and sigh but I would never let them know.

You have to have a thick skin - my sister (who is gay) does not know how her single female heteronormative friends are still standing. 😂

IME these days women are viewed as disposable, just like a plastic cup, to be used temporarily and just chucked after...
The old days may have had their negatives but at least people had morals then...

It’s poor form. If it’s any consolation, and I’m sure it’s not, but this happens so frequently that in time you won’t even remember who these guys were. It’s very common, sadly.

I met someone for a date in January; we didn’t really hit it off as his manner seemed a bit overbearing, but I thought he was maybe nervous or acting out of character, so I messaged him later that day (off the dating platform - on WhatsApp) to arrange another coffee. He had blocked me (his photo had disappeared from his WhatsApp profile.) however he hadn’t unmatched on the dating app. I left it a day or two then messaged him on the app to say I’d tried to schedule something but as he had blocked me, best to leave it there as we clearly weren’t suited. He was RAGING he’d been caught out 🤷🏼‍♀️ No loss to me, but I felt glad I’d had the final word. Now I’m not sure I’d even recognise him if I met him. I’ve no interest in wasting my time with rude people.

@SarahDippity what a bell end!

@SarahDippity total cck!
I don't get why they do it, what's to benefit from looking like a total prck.
I think I will just be more cautious now and not invest too much into getting to know someone, I always think it's good to meet quickly to rule out if there is no spark or not.

I think it’s safe to assume that most men on OLD will be chatting to lots of women. I think it’s just a consequence of that. Married’s will also be on there for an ego boost.

I think it’s safe to assume that most men on OLD will be chatting to lots of women. I think it’s just a consequence of that. Married’s will also be on there for an ego boost.

That's how it works, isn't it? It's a numbers game. I'm chatting to a number of men. I think some of them are fading out. A couple are aware of each other. I have blocked a handful, but I told them why first, on a "do as you would be done by" basis. I so far haven't been ghosted by anyone I've met, but in some cases, we have stopped messaging by mutual consent, because it was clear it wasn't going further.

I think the key is to develop a thick skin and not to care too much. I do think you should tell someone you're not interested if you've actually met, but I recognise a lot of people don't, because that's easier from their point of view.

Didn't know WhatsApp profile pics disappear if someone blocks you. I never got round to putting a pic on my profile anyway, and I'm probably going to keep it that way. So it's possible some of the ones I've blocked don't realise it.

Yes to meeting early on. You are not after a penpal, and the longer you chat the more invested you become, so you want to find out before getting attached, if there is potential.
I used to give it about a week then meet (it nearly got to 2 weeks with current BF, I was just thinking that I'm going to give up on this, when he asked for a meet - lucky, he's proved to be great so far). You were most likely ghosted by men talking to others, who chose them. But that's just rude, and whimpy to not be upfront about why, so shows that the other one who got them won the booby prize, while you had a lucky escape.