Mixed signals

[Lilcj12486]

I have been dating a younger guy for the last 3 months. I am 36 with a toddler and he is 26. We went on 4 dates. On the dates he seems really in to me. He asks tons of questions about my life and we have a lot of fun together, hold hands, lot of physical chemistry.

On the third date he asked what I was looking for. I told him a relationship but wanted to take it slow. He also asked if I would ever be interested in going out with his friends. He never said what he was looking for because our convo got cut off but I took it as he was looking for a relationship.

Problem is his communication between dates. It seems he only texts to set up a date and dates have been like every 3 weeks. Whenever we do any texting he takes hours to respond and he stops talking mid convo. After the 3rd date I hadn’t heard from him in 10 days so I messaged him and he asked me to go out right away. We went out the next night. The next day he went skiing and he sent me a video of him skiing and we had flirty texts for a few days. We talked numerous times on the date and in texts about hanging again but it has been 2 weeks again and nothing. I thought he would ask to hang this past weekend since I was child free but nothing.

Not sure if he is ghosting me now or not since this is his usual pattern. I don’t want to reach out since I did last time. I’m feeling like I’m being led on and deceived now and I’m really upset and confused. Trying to end it in my head but can’t stop thinking about the situation. Any suggestions on navigating this ? Thanks!!

He's 26 - he won't want a relationship with a woman 10 years older and a toddler. He is young. You are an option when he fancies some fun. I'm sorry. You deserve better.

At 26 this man is highly unlikely to be looking for a committed relationship with a 36 year old with a toddler. At 26, he's fairly unlikely to be looking for a committed relationship anyway. He's just looking for casual fun and thats why he is acting the way he is.

The combination of the age gap and the difference in circumstances make this unlikely to result in a committed relationship. I think you need to be realistic about how young and how little life experience he has compared to you and that he is unlikely to be able to provide you with what you're looking for.

I do agree with the age gap comments, honestly men in their 20s aren’t usually looking for anything serious I would stick to men your own age or older.

I was concerned about age too but isn’t the late 20s when most are looking for relationships and to start a family ? That is the age I met my husband (now ex) and similar with my friends. Wondering if times have changed though.

Seems like most guys that have been interested in me are also around this age. Would be ideal to meet someone my age with kids too but it has been so rare to find !

I wouldn’t call 26 late 20s, I think going for guys in their 20s these days they are definitely less likely to settle down, I’m surprised you’re finding it hard to meet guys in their 30s with kids I would imagine there would be loads!

In the last 3 years I have dated 2 guys with kids. One was 43 and was the worst of all the guys I dated. Cancelled on me multiple times and then ghosted me. The other was 32 and kinda lead me on similar to the guy now. Until I finally got out of him he just wanted casual. Seems like everyone just wants casual. So tough.

If he wanted to build a realtionship with you, thats what he would be doing. Not ignoring you for 2-3 weeks at a time.

I'd send that over and out text for your own peace of mind.

Not all men want casual, you'll find someone who wants the same as you OP, but sometimes you just have to kiss a few frogs first unfortunately.

@Lilcj12486

In the last 3 years I have dated 2 guys with kids. One was 43 and was the worst of all the guys I dated. Cancelled on me multiple times and then ghosted me. The other was 32 and kinda lead me on similar to the guy now. Until I finally got out of him he just wanted casual. Seems like everyone just wants casual. So tough.

I am dating in 30s and this is fairly universal. Particularly with guys from dating apps. There is an amazing Podcast called The Game by a girl called Yaz who talks about this - have a listen.

The majority of guys have a few options around and if they think they have won a ticket with you - you will know within a week or so. They tend to take you off the market pronto (they judge by their own standards).

I will check in on that podcast! Always up for some good relationship advice so thank you.

That’s also a good point ! Everyone always says it will be easy when it happens and you will know. So hopefully just weeding through until finding the right one.