My first time using this so I’m nervous, but for too long now I have had a low sex drive, I have a few health complications and I am only 33.
My medication is a huge factor to this.
Lately I’ve been struggling with intimacy and my partner has recently pressured me into sex which has left me shook.
He is very sex orientated, more than any man I’ve ever met.
We don’t have real conversations anymore, he constantly mentions sex, makes inuendos, touches me in appropriately in public.. and I can’t even go upstairs to the bathroom without him shouting up “are you masturbating??” In a jokey voice.
He says it’s just banter but it’s ALL the time.
It’s making my already low libido even lower.
It’s putting me off and I’m seeing him as this seedy man.
Then the other night happened, we had sex the night before, but when we have sex he gets even worse…. He talks about it even more, tells me what he wants to do next time, then pesters to know when it’s next happening.
So we’re in bed… about to go to sleep and he’s trying it on again, I tell him
“not tonight babe, I’m really not feeling okay”.
He replied with “oh come on, it will make you feel better”.
To which I said “no it won’t, I know my own body, just not tonight… please”
Him- “we never have sex, you always say this”
Me- “we had sex yesterday? And what do you want me to say? I’m in pain ever single day with my condition, some days it’s worse”
Him- “please! I promise it will make you feel good! Come on!”
Me - “no honestly I don’t want to”
Him- “can’t believe this! It’s me isn’t it?! You don’t fancy me? You think I’m unclean or ugly??”
Me- “what the hell?! No I don’t at all, I never once said that”
Him- “well you may aswel have! That’s why you don’t want me”
Me- “it’s not at all, it’s my condition, im never going to be exactly like we were when we first met, you said you understood that and don’t care if my libido is low? Where is this all coming from?”
Him- “you just don’t care about me, I have needs, I feel like you just feel sick when you look at me”
Me- “I don’t what so ever! I love you, im just not in the mood tonight? Im in too much pain?”
Him- “well if I was in pain I would still do it”
Me- “well then you obviously don’t understand the level of pain im dealing with to say that”
Him - “please can we just do it? You won’t even need to do anything, just lay there and I’ll do all the work?”
Me- “you’re not selling this to me at all, I just really can’t be swayed, please stop. The pain is too much tonight”
Him- “but you’ll feel better afterwards, you won’t even give it a try”
Me- (feeling more and more pressure as it’s now around 30 minutes into the full back and forth)
Bottom line, I eventually gave in, hated the whole thing, he got his, I didn’t… I ended up in more pain, unable to sleep even with morphine… I was unable to settle or get a good nights sleep.
I woke up the next day with him talking about sex again, and making stupid jokes.
I feel drained. I have spoke to him a million times about this and how it makes me feel, he seems remorseful at first, says he’ll do this and that and will change how he speaks to me, touches me etc, but then a week later he’s back to behaving the exact same. What do I do? 😭