Have you reconnected with your NC dm & how did it go? TW

[JamFrogEgg]

I'm thinking about doing this. My birth family had a catastrophic fall out decades ago around child abuse and lack of protection. I did the cutting off. I read last night how my mother has been deeply depressed through covid being cut off. I've done a lot of healing work and I can now have some compassion for her failings as a mother. However, I also think she'll never truly understand the impact on me. I still yearn for a mother connection. I'm aware I have a window of opportunity to reach out before she dies. She's in her 70s now. Have you done this? How did it go?

I would really recommend getting a counsellor to help you through the process of getting into contact if you decide to. Those close to us have a way of reopening wounds we thought were healed.

I have a counsellor.

I would also recommend speaking to a counsellor at length about this before you decide.

What has your mother actually done herself to try and atone for her past mistakes re you as her daughter?. Has she done any work on her own self or does she think she acted correctly throughout?. Such people rarely if ever apologise or accept any responsibility for their actions. Does she have any empathy or insight?. You have these qualities but does she, probably not. Your sentence, " However, I also think she'll never truly understand the impact on me" is a red flag re her.

You've done a lot of work here on yourself and I would urge you to protect yourself further.