Should I confront my friend? Help

[Annonnurse]

First post bare with me!
One of my best friends hasn't invited me or my little one to her child's birthday party (and actually lied about having one). What should I do about this event and our friendship?

Background:
Friends for 15years with Donna, in her bridal party etc. We had a group of couple friends and one of the couple's (Sarah and Sam) split and our relationship hasn't been the same since (2years ago). The group all supported Sam and blamed me for the divorce as I "meddled" aka just listened to Sarah while she made her decision. Donna said the whole thing made our friendship awkward to maintain but she wants us and our kids to be friends, her hubby just refuses to be part of it as it would be seen as a betrayal to Sam. I said that's fine but I wanted to be included in Donna's big events birthdays etc.

Her husband no longer wants to spend time with you so why would you be invited to their child’s birthday? Your wish to be included doesn’t trump his.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the past, if either parent doesn’t want someone at a family party that’s up to them.

It sounds like the friendship is over unless you and Donna just agree to see each other away from your families.

Your expectation is very unreasonable.

Why would you 'confront' her? That sounds quite antagonist.

“I said that's fine but I wanted to be included in Donna's big events birthdays etc.”

But that’s not up to you. You get to decide if they include you in their events, whether big or small.

And - regardless of what you think - she isn’t your close friend any more, she’s already told you that the friendship is damaged. Why would you think you would be invited?

I think you need to find some new friends.

Who wants to be part of a group where it feels so awkward. Unfortunately it looks like you are not welcome anymore because of your friends splitting up.

How old is your child? Hopefully nursery or school will be a source of other party invitations without all the drama.

Yes regardless of whether or not it's fair, the friendship is over and they don't have to invite you to anything.

And besides - either you were unreasonable in supporting Sarah and so it's fair enough for them to side with Sam and have nothing to do with you. Or they've completely overreacted and taken sides to the extreme, in which case why would you want to be friends with them.

Either way, time to move on.

People can invite who they want to an event.
I appreciate it hurts that you weren’t invited but you have no right to be and “confronting” her is ridiculous
I think you just have to accept the friendship is over and move on.

Blaming you for a couple's divorce sounds harsh.
Sounds like a complicated situation, but in terms of the party invite maybe just leave it.

Her husband doesn't want to associate with you which is fine but it's unfair on your children so I would consider taking a step back from the friendship for their sake.

I appreciate all the comments and I suppose I'm holding on to something that I shouldn't purely because of how close we used to be. I feel like I've maybe choose my words poorly here, when I said confront I meant talk about the situation with Donna rather dwelling on it.
I've the added complications that's I've already invited her my child's birthday party in 3 weeks and just want to avoid further awkwardness.
I can't help feeling hurt and the situation whether that's right or wrong it's my feeling.
So please try not to call my feeling ridiculous/irrational, I know they are but Im look advice on how to handle the situation, not on how I should feel. 🤗

Sorry but I think the friendship is over.
You’ve both seen different sides of a relationship that shouldn’t really affect your friendship but sadly it has.
Her husband doesn’t want to be around you, it’s his child’s birthday so he doesn’t want you there. Sorry but she won’t want to start at argument with him over a special day for their child.
Maybe arrange a meet up with your children in a few weeks to see if you can begin to move on or sadly just have to let the friendship go.

Sorry just seen your update! You’ve been a good person and invited her, wait and see if she shows up and if she does then just act your normal self with her. Hopefully it will all pass! If not then I’d maybe back off and let her be the first one to arrange to meet up etc

Friendship is over. I wouldn’t even try discussing it with her. Take some time to grieve for it’s loss and focus on friends who like you.
Re: the birthday party you’ve invited her to, my advice would be: leave the invite open (though she probably will make her excuses) then stop the contact.

Your feelings are simply your reaction to this event. Feelings don't need to be justified or rational they simply are. It's the actions you take in relation to the situation that need to be rational and reasonable. You could sit down and talk, ask her how she see's your friendship working going forward. Then decide if that's something you can live with. It's also fine to draw a boundary here and say you need to take a step back from the relationship. If you can't cope with a discussion of where you're both at you could stop reaching out and let the relationship fade.

You may have invited her to your party but whether she attends is another thing.