Snooping

[FullBush]

If you noticed that your DP’s ex from 20y ago had recently popped up on his (public) social media account and started adding likes and to all new posts and comments to some, would you be tempted to snoop on his account to see if they were now in touch again?

I don’t think he’s a cheat and have never suspected him before, ever. But I get a sense from her comments that she’s trying to engage him further. He is the sort of chap who is pleasant and chatty to anyone who chats, but there is something nagging at me about her.

Fwiw, her accounts are all locked down, so I can’t see her social accounts.

I have the opportunity to snoop and I don’t really fancy bringing it up and having a long chat about it (which I realise is likely what most of you will say).

Wouldn’t some if you just snoop though? Then hope to find there is nothing more and move on.

Would you like your DP snooping on you in a similar situation?

@Shinydiscoballs1

Would you like your DP snooping on you in a similar situation?

Nope! I definitely won’t justify it as a morally great thing to do.

But, I do have the opportunity and it’s very tempting…

Hold yourself to the same standard of behaviour you hold your DP to.

How would your DH feel if one of your ex’s was doing the same?
This happened to my DH during lockdown, it progressed to texting, I wasn’t impressed. DH stopped but ex is still trying to engage 2 yrs on.
DH has recently had a stroke ( totally unrelated to what was heading rapidly to EA) I am so tempted to message her and see if she’s still interested now he’s no longer the person he was. I suspect we wouldn’t see her for dust.
Just to reassure everyone I am devastated and have been through hell and back but DH is likely to make a full recovery. We were very much back on track but are now navigating our way through rehab.

Sounds like you want to do it so do it.

Yes, snoop. Then, this is how I would handle it. I'd tell him the truth and I'd then say, "are you interested in her"? If for example he says "no way", I'd say do you mind posting on your SM something on the lines of "hey, just want to introduce you to my fabulous girlfriend Kate. Happy days". 😁".

@FullBush

If you noticed that your DP’s ex from 20y ago had recently popped up on his (public) social media account and started adding likes and to all new posts and comments to some, would you be tempted to snoop on his account to see if they were now in touch again?

I don’t think he’s a cheat and have never suspected him before, ever. But I get a sense from her comments that she’s trying to engage him further. He is the sort of chap who is pleasant and chatty to anyone who chats, but there is something nagging at me about her.

Fwiw, her accounts are all locked down, so I can’t see her social accounts.

I have the opportunity to snoop and I don’t really fancy bringing it up and having a long chat about it (which I realise is likely what most of you will say).

Wouldn’t some if you just snoop though? Then hope to find there is nothing more and move on.

I've used access through a friends account to see another account and it was quite illuminating. Id say all the best op, and better to have advanced knowledge just in case it's worse case scenario

@Angrymum22

How would your DH feel if one of your ex’s was doing the same? This happened to my DH during lockdown, it progressed to texting, I wasn’t impressed. DH stopped but ex is still trying to engage 2 yrs on. DH has recently had a stroke ( totally unrelated to what was heading rapidly to EA) I am so tempted to message her and see if she’s still interested now he’s no longer the person he was. I suspect we wouldn’t see her for dust. Just to reassure everyone I am devastated and have been through hell and back but DH is likely to make a full recovery. We were very much back on track but are now navigating our way through rehab.

That’s awful @Angrymum22 I’m very sorry to hear about the stroke, you must feel or have felt very conflicted.

I genuinely can’t think of any ‘good’ reason why an ex of 20y ago would get in contact after then never having stayed friends and this is what is giving me pause.