How to truthfully but safely answer the 'have you been single long?' question

[GeorgeNumber4]

I'm 32 and I've always been single. I've had terrible problems with eczema and acne which decimated my confidence in my teens and early twenties. I came through it and was just properly enjoying life and thinking about trying OLD when Covid came, and that was that.

So, truthfully, I've absolutely no experience at all.

But how and when do I bring this up? The last 3 matches I've had have all outright asked 'how long have you been single?' or variations thereof. It feels like a lie of omission to say 'it's been a while' and 2 of the guys came back to ask 'a couple of months?' which I guess is a fairly innocent question, but feels fairly loaded in my circumstances.

I have no answer, but watching with interest as I have been single for six years, not embarrassed as I needed the break, but honestly I do feel like men will look at me like I have two heads. So far I have sort of fudged the question by saying that I have met no one special for a while.

You don't have to answer any questions you don't want to.

Ignore those questions and move on to another topic.

Answer ‘decades!’ With a smile/laugh, and change the subject.

Oh god FOREVER, ha ha.

If pressed. I’ve never calculated it

If they ask again, they are weird.

Honestly I don't think a guy would be particularly put off if you just said the truth.
Though you shouldn't have to. And I'd probably say something vague too as I wouldn't want to get too deep too soon.

But it wouldn't necessarily be seen as a negative thing, is what I'm trying to say. Some might even like it.

I've never calculated is a good one.

Thank you. Such a bloody minefield.

My friends tell me that men will like it, but I find it a bit weird. I don't want anyone seeing me as a story or a challenge.

I think I'd say 'too long, how about you?' How are you finding OLD? Strange isn't it...' etc etc. Truthful but not totally focused on it.

Congrats on regaining your confidence by the way. Hope you have some nice dates 🙂

I assume they want to know if you are rebounding?

I used to ask it too- weeded out loads of men...

I can completely understand why they are asking, it's just that it immediately opens up a whole Pandora's box of things.

"Oh god, how long?! Lol. I've been dating quite a bit but haven't found someone worth pursuing things with for ages".

Ha ha, I feel your pain. I don't have a good answer to this question.

''14 years apart from one relationship that faded due to covid (we didn't live together). But, I was a different person ten years ago. I was a single parent on benefits with two small children. Now I'm working, independent, and I have had one healthy happy relationship in the last 5 years. So I don't feel that the me that I am NOW has really been single for 14 years! The me that I am now has only been single for two years. Ok?''

He Looks Scared....

He left

@Solasum

Answer ‘decades!’ With a smile/laugh, and change the subject.

Yes. “Too long!” Then laugh and change the subject.

If they persist then just say you’d rather leave the personal histories until later and change the subject again.

Nobody decent should expect profound personal disclosures in the early dating stage.

I think I'd say 'too long, how about you?' How are you finding OLD? Strange isn't it...' etc etc. Truthful but not totally focused on it.

This is a good response. OP remember...when you meet someone you may not fancy them so don't think that you have to justify your right to date by telling them everything in the first conversation.