Anyone else don’t like there step kid or is it just me?

[Specialk2021]

I’ve had enough I can’t stand my step kid anymore she is horrible to me and my daughter.. I want out but because of her not because of my partner I can’t cope with this anymore.. she takes my daughters stuff hides it and won’t give her it back she’s took her school uniform hid it and won’t give her it back until she comes back from her mothers house. I’m done with this and don’t know what to do. She kicks off over anything and everything you can’t tell her off without starting hell I dread her coming home from school constantly on eggs shells with her.. help anyone

Sounds like you need to split. You say you want out, so go.

Why isn't the dad involved instead of you?

How old are the children?

However you can't make this better, only your partner and if he isn't ready to step up nothing will change. Blending families is one of the most difficult family challenges, many don't succeed at all so your case isn't rare.

If you know you can't get on with sd then you have to leave as isn't for on anyone.

What is her actual parent doing about this behaviour?

If nothing, your OH is the problem.

In which case leave him.

OP, surely it is her behaviour you don’t like rather than the child. You don’t say how old she is but sometimes children find it difficult to manage their emotions and misbehave as a way of getting attention and control. I feel sorry for dsd as it sounds like she needs help and support.

DSD needs some parenting (support plus boundaries). From her parent (dad).

If he can’t parent her (too afraid, guilty, doesn’t see her enough, blah blah)

You’re basically screwed and this will be a dram triangle for ever more.

You have two choices: stay/go.

I agree that it sounds like you and your partner need to split, or at least live separately.

No doubt your dsd is as unhappy as you are with the current situation, except you have some power to change it and she doesn’t.

That sounds very unpleasant. Can you afford some outside support such as a family therapist. It sounds like she resents you and your DD, however I wouldn’t blame everything on her - sounds like the whole family dynamic needs a reset. Very difficult.

Once you move our and have some distance, you will realise that your are moving out and the majority of the blame lays at his feet.

Have a look on the step parenting pages. Going nacho may help?

Your partner needs to parent his kid or he'll lose you. She may be crying out to be parented properly hence the trouble she's causing, or just trying to get rid of you

I used to think I didn't like my step children. Now I realise after some time away from them that none of it was their fault and it's poor parenting to blame. I'm actually closer with my step children now I'm out of their lives (as in not living in the same house as them anymore) than I ever was before.

It's up to her dad to sort but it seems unlikely that he will so it's up to you to take action unfortunately. It won't change on its own trust me.

Sadly there are many posts like this. It's a mixture of:

• Dads having the guilt of not seeing them every day - so they want the kids to enjoy being with dad more than mum therefore minimal parenting and no boundaries.

• Dads literally have no clue how to parent in the first place which leaves his kids free to do what they want, when they want....basically controlling the household when they are there, leaving you and your dcs on edge.

I've been there. It's not fun. I left, realised how much I do love my step kids and still see them regularly (actually have dss with me now) but I am no longer there at the house to parent them. Since I left, dss is much closer to me and will actually hug me. I explained to my ex that it's because when I was there, I was the only one that gave him structure and boundaries....because he did F all as a parent. Sad really.

You have to take action with this op, your own dc are being affected and that's not fair.

This Disney dad bollox (if that’s what is at play) is the outcome of a society that thinks men are amazing for simply clapping eyes on their kids EOW and still doing next to no actual parenting.

It’s fucked and puts step mums in an impossible situation.