Not doing enough

[PadBurnup]

My DH just does not see things that need doing - apart from the pots and dishwasher needing loading, he instigates nothing in the house. If things get left, they sit in the same place for months until i crack. I tell him about jobs that need doing and he says he will, but never ever does. I get angry and tell him to get a handyman but he is adamant he will do them himself. If on the rare chance he does anything it is because i have had to nag and nah and get angry.

I've painted 2 bedrooms and built a double bed in the last 2 weeks before you tell me its not all for him to do!

I've had enough - all i feel now is resentment. It seems petty to leave him over after all could get a man in - which i did when he was away on business to get the tv on the wall that had sat on the floor for 7 months (and he had bought 3 seperate brackets for!)

I would accept his probably not actually a diy person and do it myself or get someone in to do it. He doesn’t get to say no to that as he doesn’t do it himself in a timely manner. Don’t bother stressing about it, use the joint money to pay someone.

Its not just diy though. Its clutter that sits about not being seen. He doesn't see dirty bathrooms. We had a tree cut down he wants chop into logs. Its been sitting on the lawn for nearly 10 months. He wont let me give it away for free. It will still be there in 5 years. Hes not really comptent to do anything with it anyway. Will likely just injure himself. Inflatables from the paddling pool are just left in the garden.

I think he is just very lazy and a total procrastinator. I've not got any respect for him any more.

@PadBurnup

My DH just does not see things that need doing - apart from the pots and dishwasher needing loading, he instigates nothing in the house. If things get left, they sit in the same place for months until i crack. I tell him about jobs that need doing and he says he will, but never ever does. I get angry and tell him to get a handyman but he is adamant he will do them himself. If on the rare chance he does anything it is because i have had to nag and nah and get angry.

I've painted 2 bedrooms and built a double bed in the last 2 weeks before you tell me its not all for him to do!

I've had enough - all i feel now is resentment. It seems petty to leave him over after all could get a man in - which i did when he was away on business to get the tv on the wall that had sat on the floor for 7 months (and he had bought 3 seperate brackets for!)

This is also a problem in my house, my skirting boards have been off my walls for almost 2 years because he's going to "replace them".... I'm still waiting! Wallpaper ripped off walls for over a year as he was going to put new paper up that I bought 2 years ago! Very frustrating, the clutter end I can't advise you on but do what I done call someone in for your DIY regardless of what he says.

Don't have children with him, it will only make your life worse.

Men like this don't change.

I couldn't and wouldn't be married to a man like this. He's just filthy and useless.

Why are you with someone like this?.

Indeed men like described do not change. This is really who he is.

I spent 22 years with a man like this. I constantly made excuses for him. He’s depressed, it’s the anniversary of his mum/dad death, he’s depressed, when we get married he’ll be more motivated, when he has a better job he’ll be happier, when we have kids he’ll be more involved. Nothing changed and I realised I was the driving force for everything in our relationship. Even sorting out his driving licence and buying him a car so he could get a better job. I found him somewhere to live and gave him the deposit when we separated. I finally filed for divorce last month.