I need to talk about this. About 3 yrs ago my H decided that he wanted to go Ukraine for what he said was for business, he went away on business a few times so this was nothing new. He was away for about 10 days, our relationship has always been very good very few arguments. What you would say was pretty much an ideal match. Before he went he said that he would need a new phone to keep work and personal calls separate, the day he was due to leave I spent 2 hours arranging a new phone for him while he was at home packing etc. On his return everything seemed ok but he did say that it was something that he needed to do every now and again. I didn’t really like the fact that he would say something like this because it felt like he wanted time away from me and our DS who was 9yrs at the time. Roll on a few months, his internet usage was always pretty high but it got extreme and he took to stay up until about 4am to 5am and slept in most of the day. We went away all together for a family break which we all were having a good time. One night in our hotel room I rolled over in bed and he was on his tablet and I saw that he was on an internet site and was messaging girls. I saw who are you talking to and I can see that you are sending them hearts. Our DS was asleep in the same room as us as it was a family room so anything we said was in hushed whispers. He said it was nothing and we should talk about it in the morning, it was 2am. I got out of bed grabbed my cigarettes and went downstairs to the lobby and stayed down here and smoked 3 cigarettes. When I went back upstairs he was asleep. In the morning I asked him again and he said to take our DS to breakfast and he would meet us later. I was almost on autopilot and just carried on as normal but I was heartbroken because I still didn’t have an explanation. Later on I asked him again and he said if we talk about it all sorts on horrible things would come out and I would look differently at him. I knew then what was happening. Over the course of the next week or so there were lots of tears but only from me, I asked what had happened and who was she. He said I was on a website to chat to girls and it was all nothing and he would stop, all I was thinking of was our DS and where this was all going to end. It was horrible, I was depressed, miserable and it made me feel needy. He was keeping his tablet with him at all times which made it blatantly obvious he was hiding something. Something more damaging. He had to go to a funeral and by chance left his tablet behind, I had been watching over the course of a month or so and manage to see his passcode. When I looked on his tablet I went through his history and it was full of livecam sights and they were all in the Ukraine, there were a few names that stood out because there was pages and pages of history on them. I went to the photos and there was photos of him and other girl taken when he was in the Ukraine and they were kissing. It broke me. I have not told him I have seen all this not even to this day. The phone that I so stupidly got for him before I went away was his burner photo. He actually asked me to get him a burner phone. After months and months of very difficult conversations he told me that he went to a strip club and was asked by one of the dancers if he wanted to meet afterward and go out and he told me he said yes and met her. This all came out after an argument and I asked him why he did it and he said it was nothing but he knew it was wrong. I asked if he thought about me and his DS while he met her and he said yes but it was exciting. I asked why if he thought of me and our DS why he still did it and his reply was he was hungry and though he’d talk her along as company. So I said that our marriage was only worth as much as a cheap meal. The heart break of all this was crushing, but I stayed with him because I don’t want to hurt our son and the whole of our family. Slowly our relationship has gain some strength but the trust is not there. Fast forward 3 yrs and now there is all this trouble in Ukraine and it’s like a flash point for me. My heart goes out for all the poor soles being bombed and suffering over there. My H is very sentimental and like to keep in touch with people to make sure they are ok and know what they are doing. In someways he would be one of those people who would join Facebook to keep tabs on people in his past. I know that he would be thinking of the woman that he spoke to in Ukraine and would try to get in touch. So now I feel like I’ve just been thrown back 3 yrs into the heartache that I’m still recovering from. I just needed to get this off my chest because it’s starting to depress me and I feel like the enemy in this because I’m safe and those poor people are suffering.