Hey everyone,
Has anyone ever been through anything like this or could offer some motherly advice?
I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 years (from 18-20) and it ended pretty bad. The whole relationship was toxic and from the start I was uncomfortable with his friendship with another girl. I wasn’t aware of anything through the relationship but after we broke up I basically found out he had been cheating with her for basically the whole relationship…
During the relationship we went on some breaks and during this time he basically threatened me to not sleep with anyone else etc, when the whole time he was cheating on me. He made me feel extremely guilty for the other people I’d slept with before, even though he was actively sleeping with someone else. He would call it ‘disgusting’ etc, when he was basically living a double life. I don’t think at the time I realised how abusive he was.
When we broke up I feel like I held myself back from other people because I was kind of ashamed of/scared of sex or something like that.
Anyway fast forward to October last year (22 now), I got into a relationship with a new guy and about 2 days later, I got told from the girl everything that had happened. There was evidence so I know it’s true. Loads of people knew and nobody told me, letting me stay with him for nearly a year after everyone knew. As you can imagine, it was a massive blow to find out what he’d done. At the time I wasn’t too upset, more shocked. But over time it’s really started to mess with my head. He had spent months on end with my family and basically using me whilst he was with her too. I also think it was really cruel for her to tell me so much later when I was with someone new.
My current boyfriend and I have had some issues about his sexual past and I just feel so low thinking about what my ex did to me. I feel like I’ve ‘missed out’ or something on sex because of my ex and it now upsets me that my current boyfriend has slept with more people than me because I held myself back. I know it shouldn’t matter but it’s really upsetting me. He treats me so well and I feel like my heads going to explode thinking about all this.
Im already seeing a counsellor but I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice x