Whats it like?…life as a divorced mom

[Sadlytrue1234]

Husband cheated and im seriously contemplating divorce. Making myself stronger everyday to make that decision finally.

Im 35 - 2 kids, 8 and 2. Was a stay at home mom for the longest time and just recently started working. So needless to say he earns 10x whAt i do. Our lifestyle after divorce will see a serious downgrade even with the divorce settlment and all. Ill have to be more money minded.

What are the challenges and harsh realities of single moms? Id like to mentally prepare myself.

Hey. Co patenting is I think the hardest thing. Also managing your finances.

Having to deal with your ex for the next 10 years is by far the hardest part. Get your financials and job situation sorted before you get divorced.

It's hard to imagine now but few years down the line, you'll feel much more confident, even if you say you have to downgrade with material possessions, everything you work hard for, you'll really appreciate it being just yours, you'll push yourself into a better circumstances, by climbing the career ladder, saving money.
Biggest challenge is just being super busy.

Fantastic!
...suppose having a reasonably stable income helps!

If you have a good support network and an ex who will pay his way and have the kids regularly then it’s not so bad. The time to yourself is great! The downsides are having less money, being busy when you do have the kids and feeling a bit lonely at times. Dating can be hit and miss too.

Pros

Do what you like
More space
Don’t have to run anything past someone else
Closer relationship to children (to be fair, I’ve been a lone parent for 17 years so not sure how it would have been if still married)
No moaning
Less tidying up
You can do mad projects (paid my mortgage off quicker, went round Europe by train) without having to justify anything
Many years ago, when my ex was still seeing my children, I’d get proper time to myself
The last 5 years when he hadn’t bothered, I’ve had them all to myself!
I got to teach my children EVERYTHING, from swimming to driving
My ex has never paid child maintenance or for as much as a pair of socks. It’s great to know I’ve paid for literally everything and done every school run, appointment, hair cut - everything - completely alone.

Cons - possibly less money?

I don’t think co parenting is the worst if your ex is a decent father,
My ex completely disappeared so I never get a break and my kids don’t see him at all, that’s by far been the hardest bit for me being exhausted and never getting a break I would love to co parent! Loneliness can’t also be hard..

Can* !

I would say it's tiring but very rewarding. It's not something to be scared of, although it it a big adjustment to make. Sort out money and regular agreed contact times and the rest kind of falls into place.