Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help 32 weeks pregnant at wits end

8 replies

Mommycool24 · 11/03/2022 10:47

Ok so long story I’ve been with my partner 9 years, have a 6 yo and a 3 yo and I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant. He has/had bad addiction problems for about 7 years of our relationship,
Was very abusive, lived here but never took part in being a father l/partner or helped around the house. Also is unemployed. We broke up for a full year last year, he moved out,
Eventually over that year he pulled himself together and got clean (drug free). We got back together, he had completely changed, helped around the house, was a great dad, great person all together and I fell pregnant (unexpectedly). I noticed
The past 2 months a shift in behaviour so I went snooping, discovered he was taking drugs again, he had relapsed. He’s not helping as much anymore, losing his temper abit more easily again, no motivation, sleeps long periods of the day and leaves me to do everything at 32 weeks pregnant. An example is today, I have had 1 1/2 hours sleep, up with my toddler from 6am and I noticed a little bit of leaking this morning around 4am but not sure if it was my bladder leaking or waters. (I’m not rushing to the hospital as this happened with both my pregnancies, my waters leaked very slowly, so I know what to do and look out for, so I’m monitoring myself with a pad today to see if there’s anymore leaking, if there is I won’t hesitate to go to hospital) I made him aware of
This this morning and he didn’t pay any attention to it and lay down on the sofa and started going to sleep again even though he was only up and I said about helping me because I was tired and that I needed to rest and he said “well I’m tired and need sleep too” then proceeded to fall asleep again. And is currently still sleeping. I don’t know what to do, I’m exhausted. I’ve already made him aware multiple times on how I feel. Am I being a nag? Can anyone give any advice? Please.

OP posts:
longtompot · 11/03/2022 11:02

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. He is a waste of space and I think he needs to leave again. Do you have any family or friends who can help you?

Whatdramain2022 · 11/03/2022 11:12

Clearly the relationship has come to an end. I'm so sorry he is behaving like this. I really hope you have family and friends for support.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 11/03/2022 11:16

You've written about him over some years now.

You fell in love with an act; this is who he really is and addicts lie openly to themselves as well as all those around them. He told you what you wanted to hear and you bought into that fallacy hook, line and sinker. You're both codependent and enabling of him; both states have done you no favours at all, let alone your children.

And now you're bringing yet another child into this relationship. When are you ever going to put your children and yourself ahead of this man?. How do you see your life going forwards playing out?. You're all being dragged down with and by him.

Viviennemary · 11/03/2022 11:17

He just isn't cut out to be a caring partner or father. He is a lost cause. Its been years and he only improved for a very short time. You need to think if you would be better off on your own.

StrictlySinging · 11/03/2022 11:23

Stop relying on him is the first step you need other support systems. This may be a (necessary) head shift.

While you have him in the house/your life he is likely to drain far more than he adds.

While it may or may not be his fault or intention it is what is happening.

Better to move him to a safe distance appropriate to his capabilities. Physically and logically and emotionally I mean!

Meanwhile if you have to go to the hospital do you have someone to look after your other two children?

Blackcatsocks · 11/03/2022 11:47

What are you doing with him? No point dwelling on mistakes made now. Ring family or friend who can help you get to hospital and make arrangements to split after the baby comes.

Mommycool24 · 11/03/2022 13:40

@longtompot

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. He is a waste of space and I think he needs to leave again. Do you have any family or friends who can help you?
Yeah I've a great support network, it's just so embarrassing that it's going to come to this again, the amount of times we've separated and he's moved out is nuts. I'm gutted I honestly thought he was on in the mend I really felt a love for him that I ha ever in literal years.Sad
OP posts:
Justcallmebebes · 11/03/2022 14:06

In the kindest possible way, you are enabling this by keep going back. Why would he change? He's got you right where he wants you.

Do your kids a favour and leave him and stay left. He's a fucking useless junkie

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread