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Relationships

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20 year younger man asking me out

5 replies

PaintItRed · 11/03/2022 07:03

I lost my beloved fiance 8 months ago unexpectedly to an heart attack. It has been crushing. We were highschool sweethearts who reunited and then became engaged. It is a true love story and I am quite heartbroken.

I am not ready to date at all. It is so fresh.

With the real estate market so active, I decided to sell a vacation home I owned for ten years after I now update it. I hired a talented, pleasant general contractor who is well known and respected. My profession was in interior design and I have been an active part of the process. I enjoy the project and appreciate GC's artistry. After several weeks of working together, this much younger man asked me out on a date. I was quite shocked by it and just laughed it off saying he was far too young for me.

It has been a bit awkward even though I proceed in my professional way as before.

Now, I wonder if I made a mistake. As I am moving 1200 miles away, maybe I should have dinner with him. He is handsome, intelligent, never married. I am sure we would have a lovely dinner. It may be a way to get over that "first time out".

He knows I am older than him but likely doesn't know it's 20 years as I do look 10-12 years younger than my age. I suppose it is flattering he asked me out but I have had other invitations. I think this may be of interest to me because I am leaving soon and there is very little possibility of this continuing.

Any experiences to share? Pitfalls? Positives?

OP posts:
Walkingalot · 11/03/2022 08:04

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Seeing as you're moving 1200 miles away, it's not like there's any potential for a proper relationship and it's too soon anyway. I assume he knows this. Why not accept his offer and enjoy yourself, even for just one evening.

5128gap · 11/03/2022 20:08

I would go. You're leaving and you don't see him in relationship terms, so Its an emotionally safe way for you to connect with a man again for the first time since your loss. Almost like a test of what you're ready for and how you will feel.

KirstenBlest · 11/03/2022 20:28

Sorry for your loss.

Have a fling

CaramelMacchiatto · 11/03/2022 20:43

How do you achieve to look 10-12 years younger than your age?? Please share your secret 😊

As for the invitation, yes - why not? I hope you go and have fun.

FurPunt · 11/03/2022 22:06

I would go on the ‘date’. He might really like you. For you it might be interesting, exciting, also you might make a friend, who knows.

Don’t be held back by people’s silly views about younger men. You might want to tread carefully for your own benefit, and see it realistically as far as long term is concerned. Maybe your current life styles are not compatible, but then maybe they are, short term at least. Look at Joan Collins and Vivienne Westwood …

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