I called him selfish in the heat of the moment

[toomuchgoingonhere]

Tiny thing- blown up.

He ate the last eclair lol- stupid really. He's usually good and he offers me half and he didn't. I was in a grump and snapped You're selfish. He's taken that personally and starts saying 'all I do is for you all, I work so hard, I've got pressures..'. It's turned into an argument and I'm awake still thinking about it.

Everything he said was right. I completely agree. Now I feel bad. Any advice on what to say tomorrow?

Apologise and tell him the truth? It was a tiny thing that turned into something big.

Yes of course- I will. I'm just frustrated that this small thing, opened a can of worms, and I believe it's his way of letting off steam/expressing his stresses, but now the aftermath feels like I started it. Didn't mean to- just snapped. Didn't shout, just blurted it.

It happens in relationships. Please don't worry. Obviously he thinks you meant he's selfish all round. But I'm sure if you explain what you meant he'll see what you mean.

Thanks flyingdream.

Hang on a second here though

He said all I do is for you all, I work so hard, I've got pressures

But isn't this the same for YOU ? We've ALL got 'stresses' and we all 'work hard', we could ALL say that 'everything I do is for YOU' , but if he thinks that somehow HIS hard work and stresses entitle him to be 'selfish', then make you feel 'guilty' for telling him the truth, then you've got issues here....

Why are you so 'guilty', when HE'S the one who did something 'selfish'?

OK, so he's not normally 'selfish', but that doesn't mean he's never 'selfish', does it ?

And if he scoffed the last eclair, that's fine if it was his second one of a 4 pack, but selfish if it was his 3rd ffs !

Don't be so quick to feel 'guilty' on calling him out if it was the truth !

If it wasn't truly 'selfish', then you'd never have been annoyed, would you ?

@toomuchgoingonhere

Yes of course- I will. I'm just frustrated that this small thing, opened a can of worms, and I believe it's his way of letting off steam/expressing his stresses, but now the aftermath feels like I started it. Didn't mean to- just snapped. Didn't shout, just blurted it.

Well you did start it. All you can do is apologise really. I’d be pretty hurt to be called selfish simply because I ate an eclair too. Somebody has to eat or drink the last of everything unless you call everyone to the kitchen to share as soon as you reach the last biscuit or dregs of the orange juice or whatever. I cannot fathom adults arguing over food and who it belongs to. Go and buy some more eclairs!