Toxic sister making life difficult

[sabrina1234]

So my sister for the longest time has been extremely petty and inconsiderate. We used to have an amazing relationship and used to be super close. Being the oldest sister I would always give her advice and would take her everywhere with me since she didn't have her own friends.

A few years ago she started to become extremely moody and just plain mean. No matter how much I have spoken to her about her behaviour she will continue with the same crap. E.g stealing a painting I bought off her to support her painting business. Purposely making a mess and expecting me to pick it up( throwing dirty tissues all over my bedroom- which we share). Cutting up my knickers. Throwing my bra in the bin. Misplacing my things. Slamming doors because she is annoyed I have to wake up early to go to work on her days off and by doing this waking up the whole house. This is just a few things.

I have no energy left to constantly tell her what she is doing is wrong. I have told her to communicate with me if she has an issue and she chooses not to. She says I shout. Yes I'm human and I get Extremely frustrated when she continues with this behaviour. I am tired of constantly looking over my shoulder and we all feel like we are walking on eggshells around her. I am thinking of getting a lock on my bedroom door, her things are in my room too( we had to move her bed downstairs because she would not let me sleep, bearing in mind I have an extremely stressful job- I am a nurse and the lack of sleep was really affecting my health). Her belongings are still in my room as we don't have any more space in the house.

Im thinking of getting a lock so that she won't be able to misplace my things when I'm not home. I do worry that I'll come home and my bedroom door will be hammered through but I am out of ideas and communicating doesn't seem to be working, she's 21 and I'm 25, so she is a grown adult and has the choice to communicate. I do sometimes feel as though I may have done something to upset her or maybe she just doesn't like me anymore? Either way she refuses to communicate and I am done taking on her baggage and toxic behaviour. Please someone give me ideas I am so tired of this

You're describing an abusive relationship and the abusive person is not interested in changing. It sounds ghastly.
Is there any way you can cease to be living in the same house? Doesn't sound like there is much cure other than distance. It's wrong that you can't relax in your own home like this.

I would move out. If you did a house share it would cut costs as opposed to living alone.

Are you taking any steps to find a place of your own to live?

When I lived at home, I put a padlock on my door for similar reasons. Only I was the one who got in trouble for it - rather than my sister.

As adults, we're NC and it's been such a relief. She's utterly toxic, but our parents just enable it. Took me many years to come to terms with it and accept the reality.

Find a house share. You deserve better.

Move out.

I agree find a house share

Is there a board at work where other colleagues advertise house shares etc?

Or look on FB local sites. There are always rooms to let on our local noticeboards.

I am assuming you have a resident parent(s) also in the house. Why are they not taking her up on her behaviour? Does she behave like this towards others in your household?

You need to move out and soon. If you are a nurse (in a hospital?) then there must be someone there who you could possibly share with as a starting point.