Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Partner

[FirmButFairMum]

Reading another post today where a couple had been together since September and were not living together.

They referred to their ‘other half’ as their partner. I would’ve thought if you’re not living together they would be referred to as your boyfriend/girlfriend rather than partner.

I realise it’s just a word and a couple can call each other what they choose but when do you think a boyfriend/girlfriend becomes your partner?

Thinking back to my own relationships, my ex husband was my boyfriend until he moved in, then I said he was my partner. I had a boyfriend of around 18months and he was definitely just referred to as my boyfriend, didn't live together.
I suppose if your with someone years but don't live together, partner is fine but not after a few months. Each to their own though, some people think boyfriend/girlfriend sounds immature but then again partner/other half is a bit too serious sounding.

I've lived with my boyfriend for nearly 30 years. We're not married or engaged so he's my boyfriend....

I'd refer to him as my partner. I'm too old to be saying I've got a boyfriend.

I think of a partner as somebody you have a partnership with. Somebody you share a life with. Boyfriend / girlfriend might sound a bit “young”, but using partner instead doesn’t actually make the relationship any deeper or more significant - but it can give you a false sense of security about its significance and create more of a sunk costs fallacy.

I like Gentleman Caller.

I don't think I'd call someone I was seeing a 'boyfriend' if I was in a steady relationship with them, I'm 45. I would use 'partner.'

Or if it was earlier, maybe 'someone I'm seeing.'

@Shuffleuplove Yes lol we should bring that back.

I dunno. Lots of words don't seem to mean what they used to. The other day I met a middle aged man who referred to his "partner". I asked polite questions about her and turns out they've been "together" since last July, she lives in the US (he's in NZ), and they've never met. I mean, she could be an 18-year-old male Jamaican scammer, or a bot, but she's his "partner" apparently.

Like "trauma" now means any vague adversity, "anxiety" means feeling worried, and "woman" means anyone who says they're one, "partner" can apparently refer to someone you've emailed or zoomed with.

I think boyfriend and girlfriend are weird when you're talking about grown men and women not boys and girls. I've always liked using partner as it means I don't have to out myself as LGBT if I'm not ready or in company that aren't accepting.

It's lack of a suitable word to call your boyfriend when you're 56, really.
Boyfriend sounds silly, but partner implies something more serious, when that's not always the case.

Partner implies a more serious relationship but I hate the term “other half”- I am a whole person!

I always thought this was an age thing? We are 32 and 37 and I’d use partner, other half, jokey other things I refer to him as. “Boyfriend” / “girlfriend” was a term that seemed to apply at school etc. Maybe I am old fashioned 😂 my granch always used to ask if I was “courting” or “stepping out”… I think it’s also gender neutral and much more prevalent these days to use “partner”?

Partner is someone you share your life with. I’m 46 and my boyfriend is 51- he’s not my partner because we’ve not been together very long and our lives aren’t entwined.

Like others have said, I feel too old to have a boyfriend! Agree that it’s lack of a suitable word.
We’re late 40’s/mid 50’s, have been together for 4 years, but don’t live together for various reasons, mainly because I don’t want to! I like living alone with my 2 teens). Boyfriend sounds ridiculous. I use ‘partner’ or ‘my fella’ which probably sounds worse 😂 I have no idea what he refers to me as, I’ll have to ask.

We’ve been together 7 months, LDR so don’t live together and no plans to for a lot of years, but we say partner. We’re in our 40s; it seems to old for boyfriend/girlfriend somehow! Plus, I wouldn’t make any major life decisions or plans without consulting him, so I feel describing him as my partner is more appropriate.

I wouldn't use the term "boyfriend" over the age of 30 it's a bit cringe after that I think aàa

My DH was bf up until we got engaged. Partner has always sounded like a dry business arrangement to me. Personal opinion of course, and I completely understand that Partner has its place, including if you don't want to get in to your OH's sex for example.

I can also see that bf / gf might feel inappropriate over a certain age (although I used it well in to my 40s). I can't abide it when women are referred to as 'girls' (really disrespectful, we don't do it to men). But in the case of bf / gf, we do it for both sexes and it doesn't feel as though we've created a good replacement yet.

Whatever you're both comfortable with I suppose, but it doesn't feel right when people who have been dating a few months say 'partner'.

I’ve always used boyfriend, even when we were engaged. I really don’t like fiancé.

@Shuffleuplove

I like Gentleman Caller.

@Shuffleuplove more people should adopt this

To me, partner implies something shared - housing or children or finances etc

If you've been together 5 minutes and see each other once a week that's not a partnership imo

My partner and I do not live together and have no plans to do so. We have been together over 8 years. He's 61 and I'm 54. Far too old to be a girlfriend.

I have a boyfriend despite him being 50 and us having been together for 4 years pretty much
I can't bear people who talk about partners after 5 minutes

I also use “chap.”

Beau or fella

Got that from my mum and I quite like them.

I like Beau too. And suitor.

@Shuffleuplove

I like Gentleman Caller.

I like that too.