How do you know for sure there is no way back?…

[ReeceWitherfork]

Married over 20 years, sexless for 4-5 years, one teenager. I’m getting counselling on my own, DH refused couples counselling years ago. How do I know there is no fixing this - apart from the fact that nothing changes for very long after we speak about things. The options seem to be divorce (which seems so scary a thought that I just stay stuck), or staying which will no doubt mean more years of the same. Has anyone been in a sexless relationship for years and managed to get things back, or am I flogging a dead horse? My counsellor reckons I have decided things are over, but it’s the fear that’s keeping me from doing anything about it.

How did your marriage become sexless? If you can identify the reasons for this, then perhaps you can work on how to get it back?
Do you have any physical displays of affection at all?

That’s a good question, it dwindled away over the years, probably for a number of reasons. I suspected him of an affair years back, he has had ED problems for years, I felt that was my fault, so I withdrew. We are in separate rooms because of his snoring, and no there is not much if any affection, I don’t think i want him in that way any more (the ick?). I dont fancy him even though he is a good looking man. Plus I resent him for being lazy and spending his spare time on his iPad.