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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you cope with court ordered contact moving from supervised to unsupervised?

3 replies

HelloKitty101 · 09/03/2022 14:58

NC for this but have posted several times about abusive ex who we fled domestic violence from in 2020.
Have spoken with CAFCASS and whilst I initially feel like they believed the perspective I tried to articulate, upon two conversations with my ex it appears she believes how distraught he is.
She's articulated to me that the Court look to progress contact and CAFCASS recognise there has been positive supervised contact in a contact centre.
I asked her to verbalise to me what her thoughts were. She believes my ex needs intervention in the form of parenting programmes and domestic violence perpetrator programme, however said if he doesn't admit to being abusive she can't force him to do it.
She asked me how I felt about contact moving to supported upon completion of the programmes, then she articulated that she didn't feel it was appropriate for him to have overnight contact at his property whilst our DD was still young (3)
I think from supported it will move to a few hours on a weekend day to unsupervised and I want to find a way to prepare myself for that.
It's been 2 years nearly since we've been in the family court. He's managed to convince absolutely everyone that he is not abusive and that we were both abusive and I've been made 50% responsible for domestic abuse.
The CAFCASS officer was balanced in her view and took on everything I said and said I had given her a lot to think about. I was explicit in that I said I cannot say she will EVER be safe with him. He's already been proven by the Court to be dangerous and abusive.
I just want to prepare myself for the fact he will have his daughter unsupervised and that I will just need to cope with it.
If anyone has been in a similar situation and can share any advice or coping techniques, I'd be interested.

OP posts:
Soopermum1 · 10/03/2022 13:19

Hi OP, bumping for you as I'm facing a similar scenario. Did your Cafcass officer say the unsupervised access would continue to be monitored or reported on? I'm concerned that there will be some timescale forced on me where it's x amount of weeks unsupervised then an automatic move to overnights etc, without any review

newbiename · 10/03/2022 13:21

I've read your other threads. Thanks k she angry it's been proven he abused her yet he can still have unsupervised contact potentially.
What on earth do they have to do to get contact removed ?

newbiename · 10/03/2022 13:22

I mean ' I'm angry'

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