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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My friend was hit by her ex last night

4 replies

BobblyBlueJumper · 08/03/2022 21:16

I read a lot of these sorts of threads on MN but didn't think I'd be asking for advice.

She split up with him last year because he hit her but they gradually got back in touch. Last night they were away in a hotel and he got angry, next thing she knew she was waking up in the hotel room with paramedics round her and the police putting him in handcuffs.

He's been remanded so she's not worried tonight. The police were putting pressure on her to make a statement, but they did say they had enough evidence to charge him with gbh anyway. I said she can change her mind about the statement at any time, it doesn't have to be now (I think that's right?). She feels torn and sorry for him. And also ashamed Sad

Wish she could see how great she is and how much of a shithead her ex is. Honestly. She's a fab person, will give anyone anything. I do think her self esteem could do with a boost tbh, in general not just because of this although it really doesn't help.

What would you do to support a mate? I don't want to hector her about what she should do, I gently suggested counselling which she can access through work. I've read people suggesting books and things in this sort of situation. What would be best?

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 08/03/2022 21:21

My ex strangled me. I told the police i needed to ask no exh if i should make a statement.

Rather than pressure one way or another. Encourage her to do the freedom program. It may stop her been back here again.

Jonny1265 · 08/03/2022 22:11

He hit her and yet she went to a hotel with him to get hit again? I'd suggest the best thing you could do for her is to encourage her to never see him again.

PonyPatter44 · 08/03/2022 23:03

Suggest she tries counselling. Support her to make a statement to the police, and see it through court, and get this violent piece of shit put away. Help her to get a restraining order, and not be tempted to drift back to him.

WellNotReally · 08/03/2022 23:08

Encourage her to make a statement and to remain engaged in the legal process.

Understand that he may have done such a job on her that she will think she doesn't deserve any better. Suggest that she does the freedom programme and speaks to WA about other support.

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