Did anyone else come out as lesbian/bisexual in life?

[Mrspepperpoi]

I only came out as lesbian about a year ago. Deep down I think everyone I know knew and everyone has been very kind and accepting. Deep down I knew I was gay as a teenager but felt I needed to be like everyone else to be accepted (never a good idea), I dated men and was never happy, even when the man was perfectly lovely, I was just never attracted to them in any way.

I never wanted children so there isn't the timing aspect to think about and I know I still have time to meet someone amazing, but there are times when I feel that at nearly 41 I'm not going to meet a woman. I know logically this isn't true, I have a therapist who met her partner in her late 50's so I know it's possible.

Did anyone else come out later in life and meet your partner then?

Edited to add I only briefly had one short relationship with a woman when I was still pretty much in the closet. I really liked her but things just didn't work out at the time

Also sorry my heading should read 'Later in life', crap trying to type on a small phone

Hello, I've NCed for this. But I get where you're coming from. I'm currently married to a man but coming to a slow realisation that I think I'm a lesbian, after previously thinking I was bisexual.

Are you on TikTok? That might sound silly but there is actually a huge later in life lesbian crowd on there with some really helpful videos. Loads of whom are older and have found relationships. There is a reddit forum for late in lifers too.

I'm sure you'll find a partner. If this is something you actively want, what are you doing to try and meet someone currently? The Meetup app has a lot of groups for lesbian and bi women/LGBTQIA+ in general, including some for online dating. You could try dating apps? Or reach out to any gay friends you have to arrange night outs etc

@DishwasherTablet thanks for your reply. I'm not on tiktok but will set up an account. I also found a reddit group for lesbians that came out later in life aswell

At the moment I don't know any other LGBT people except a gay friend who is 20 years older than me. I have joined a group that's more of a support and they will be organising more activities like book groups, crafts etc so it will be a chance to meet others

Not relatable to your story I know, but I came out 2 years ago.. Ended relationship with DP of 10 years because felt I was living a lie. Had always been attracted to women but was also happy in straight relationship, just felt like I wasnt being true to myself and didnt want to have an affair to find out. DP took is quite badly as might be expected because we were still very close.
Fast forward 2 years and my worry is it was all some sort of ideal I built up in my head, met a few women but the physical side didnt work at all, even though I liked the idea. When it got physical it was a turn off, and Ive no idea what I thought I wanted or thought I was missing out on all this time. However Im still attracted to women, its just that physically Im just not into it.
I feel like Ive lost DP obviously, I cant go crawling back, it wasnt a good break up for him as we were planning on getting married at the time, I think thats why I panicked and doubted everything I wanted.
Im in my late 40s, so came out quite late, plus everyone was rally supportive which is why I now feel like a fraud and dare not tell anyone because they'll think Im an idiot. I know they wont say it, but they'll think it.

Hi. I came out as a lesbian at 38 after having been married to a man and had 2 kids (divorced before I was 30), and had a couple of other boyfriends after the divorce.

I had had a handful of sexual experiences with girls/women at school/uni. None since. Looking back it's so obvious I was gay but I never ever considered this, so deeply ingrained was my internalised homophobia (quite a homophobic upbringing).

The reason I came out was because I got together with a woman (very unexpectedly) and suddenly everything made sense. I knew I had to be with her and despite all the difficult things I knew I would have to go through - telling my kids, telling my parents - I had to do it. Couldn't live without her. The kids were totally fine (and not surprised), my childhood friends were like "makes complete sense". My parents were horrified and didn't speak to me for several months but now adore DW. We're married and have a child together.

I wish I'd known in my 20s that I could be this happy in a relationship. It would have made me much braver.

I did. Decades in a heterosexual relationship. Complete change of sexuality in my early 40s. Now late 40s. Went on the apps having never used them before. Not a theory, definitely a lesbian now and have a girlfriend.

Many people are bi, but do not actually engage as bi. Pls do not judge ppl you think are straight.

I know many ppl that do not express their sexuality as such as they think they will be judged

I came out in my early 30s after being married for a decade. I used to have a long term girlfriend but we broke up and I’ve been single for a couple of years now. It does get easier once you find your feet. Look for some meet up groups and Facebook groups to join. The best way is to get out there and meet people.

One of my friends who is a lesbian took many years to find her life partner and they are now married. It can be done. Do not give up hope.

Same situation as many of you!
It can be daunting but I wouldn't rush into anything or worry too much.

I've learnt that it's better to be more
Relaxed.

Nice to see there are more women who are new to being a lesbian in their 30s and 40s :)

And good advice on TikTok there are some great people to follow on there.