Love bomber or nice guy?

[WhoTheEffIsAlice]

I've been seeing someone for about 5 weeks after knowing him a few years and admittedly occasionally speaking to (and confiding in) him while with my ex partner.

He's said things like
"I think you're amazing"
"I think we're soul mates"
"You're beautiful"
"I loved you when I met you"

He's bought me clothes when we've gone shopping, I've gone to pay and he's beat my to it. He bought me a necklace and took me to a hotel for Valentine's Day.

He doesn't demand a lot of my time and if I cancel (I have kids) he doesn't kick off. I do really enjoy his company, have a laugh with him and like and actually feel I trust him.

But how can you tell if you're being love bombed?

I don’t know that you can tell after only 5 weeks. It helps that you’ve known him a while as a friend/confidante.

I think previous experience of love bombing and being involved with someone with narcissistic traits can naturally makes us question if it’s happening again. Just take things slowly would be my advise.

If you've known him for a few years it sounds more like he's carried a torch for you for a while, rather than love bombing.
He sounds lovely from everything you've said but impossible to tell from the outside. What does your instinct say? That's probably the best indicator.

@katy1111 when I'm with him my instinct is that he's being genuine and he's just infatuated with me. It feels quite natural and I feel a bit like I can't keep my hands off him/like to kiss him often and that isn't like me I'm quite stand off ish. My best friend has met him and she liked him.
I just googled love bombing and freaked myself out lol.

He sounds as if he is besotted with you and can't believe his luck.

The only thing to look for might be if you have boundaries and he pushes it even if you have told him to back off.

It does seem a bit much so soon tbh. I guess because you've known each other a long time, feelings might have already developed for him but it's still quick.

I'd be careful.

It sounds too much too soon to me with that kind of language being used.

What's his relationship history been like during the few years that you've known him?

You can't tell, if they're good at it. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself and maintain strong boundaries. You have to have your own back, so that if he does turn out to be love bombing you, you'll be off like a shot with your head held high, the second he does anything suss.

The whole point of 'getting to know someone' is that you don't know them. You have to learn them. You don't know if you're being love bombed. You can only stick to the rule of boundaries that we should all be following: Don't spend time with people who make you feel shit. That's all you need to know. If you stick to that, and he's love bombing, you'll get a period of time where he treats you amazingly, then he'll start treating you in an 'out of character' way that makes you feel bad, and you'll leave. And it will hurt, but you'll have your own back, so you'll be able to handle that.