I've been with my bf for a year and since we have been together he has been unhappy in his job, although even more so recently. He has a complicated relationship with work - his dad was extremely successful and I get the sense that he feels he will never be 'good enough' in that respect, and he was also managed out of a job a few years ago due to whistleblowing and this had an impact on his mental health. He is now on meds and seems fine day to day.
However, his problems in his current job impact every other aspect of his life and he has been increasingly seeing things in a negative light. We occasionally fall out over minor things. Last night I was a bit upset about something and it completely escalated, with him saying he doesn't think we'll be together much longer if I carry on getting upset over small things. This felt dismissive and like an attack on me and also worried me that he does not want to continue the relationship. I slept on the sofa because I was too upset to sleep next to him.
Today I told him he needs to be honest with me about why he said that he didn't think we'd be together much longer and that if he is having doubts he should tell me - I am nearly 32 and don't want to waste time with someone who isn't sure about me after a year. At first he assured me he just said it in frustration, then he said there may be some degree of truth to it as we are still finding things out about each other and learning how to be with each other. He assured me he was committed one minute and then said he couldn't do 'this' anymore the next.
He told me he feels like he isn't coping with life at the moment and that work is a big part of it. He then said he hates the impact it has on his mood and the effect it has on our relationship. He cried like a baby on the phone (yet didn't cry at his grandmother's funeral even though he was v close to her). I think his outburst of emotion shocked him and he has realised he is not coping. He is considering going to the GP for help.
I know this sounds very selfish (and in many ways it is) but I am no clearer on my part in his life right now as one minute he says he's committed and the next he can't cope. Having had mental health issues myself I know the importance of having loved ones around you for support, but if he is not capable of giving me a relationship that I need, given my age, do I stick around to support him until he is better and able to think clearly and re-engage or do I cut my losses and run? The latter feels harsh, the former is a potential waste of time/fertile years.
I am so confused because we have never had an argument like the one we had last night and I am also concerned about his mental state. Additionally i am unsure how to support him. As of our last phonecall this evening (we don't live together but he stayed over last night), he said he was committed to me but that is no guarantee that he won't find it all 'too much' again in an hour/tomorrow. How much contact should I have with him? I would like to be supportive and send nice messages but I also recognise that he probably needs space at the moment.
urgh. Any advice?