My partner and I argue all the time

[Sje11]

Hi
My partner and I argue all the time,we just don't seem to get along anymore. I feel like so many arguments have happened and things have been said that we have lost respect for each other. We have been together for almost 10 years and have a 4 month old baby. I have had mental health issues in the past and I feel rightly or wrongly he uses this against me in arguments. I feel that all I am here to do is to pick up after him and his other child from.a previous relationship. I don't particularly look forward to seeing him when he comes home from work and I don't like the idea of spending time with him on weekends now. Our love life feels like a chore, the feelings are gone and I'm struggling to get them back.I find myself longing for a way to make a home for just me and my baby but I worry how I would cope financially as a single mother and would feel guilty for breaking up my family but I really question if I love him anymore. Hes not a bad man, he is a good father and works hard. This has been going on now for quite some time. I would appreciate any advice.

The stress of a new baby is hard and can put so much pressure on couples. Would couples counselling be an option? Perhaps you're both so tired and snappy. Does he help with the chores

Not really, he does have a hard physical job and works long hours so I don't feel like I should expect him to do chores but he doesn't appreciate how much I have to keep picking up after him all the time. If I do ask, he always comments that I'm the one at home all day. I always cook and clean for everyone.

It’s not fair to make kids live in a toxic house where the adults fight all the time, and, you shouldn’t be parenting his kids from his last broken relationships, they’re there to have contact with their parent.
What financial protections do you have in place, being unmarried? Do you have a job and own home?

You don't have to cook and clean for everyone.

You are not the sideline to someone else's main act in life. It's your life too.

I do think if you're at home and he's at work providing it's fair to take on the majority of the housework - but not picking up after him and his dc. Housework like organising what's for dinner, changing the beds, washing. But he should still help clean up after dinner, chuck a wash load in, stick the vacuum round on a Saturday and not create additional work for you.

Life is too short to be miserable. I was going to write couples counselling, but honestly what sort of partner is he that he thinks creating more work for you when you've got a baby is a good thing to do to you. That's not treating you very well.

Don't become his household appliance.

I have some savings but own a home together, I am on maternity leave so on low income. I am going to ask for more to be done around the house first, especially on weekends and see if that helps. As I say he's not a bad man at all, he just doesn't think.

Hello
I do not feel like things are improving and I feel like I don't even want to try anymore. It's really starting to make me feel ill. We can't discuss anything without it ending in an argument. I can move back home with parents but only want it to be temporary solution until I am back in work. Has anyone else been in his position? He's not a bad person I just think we are both different people now.

Did you try talking to him about it? Maybe a trial separation would be of benefit if you have the option to live with your parents for a few weeks

I have talked to him about it and all he does is basically mock me for getting parents involved. Personally I'd rather skip living with them and go straight to a place of my own but at this moment in time I can't afford it.

It’s been a long time since you last posted on here, but I wanted to ask how you were and if you had managed to find some sort of a solution. Hoping you’re happier now either way 💐

Hello
Thank you for your concern. We are in a much better place now. Still moments but so has every relationship.