TW

[Firsttimemum101101]

I apologise for how graphic this is I just don't know what's going on I'm so upset!!
Me and my baby's dad no longer sleep together (intimate), or cuddle or show any affection. If he does want to have sex he only wants to do anal which I obviously deny. He's always had negative views on gay and trans people etc and last night I found loads and loads of transgender porn and strip shows from old trans men who cross dress, what do I do? What does this mean?

Why did you entitle this ‘trigger warning’? Why would you ‘obviously’ not want anal?

In answer to your question, the lack of intimacy and compatibility probably mean your relationship is over and you need to work on Co-parenting effectively.

Maybe it was TransWomen not Trigger Warning

And nobody wants anal as the only sex just because that's their partner's preference.

OP - you leave. You don't have a mutual relationship any more. Try and get a reasonable ending and break up and work on being cooperative parents.

I'd assume he's always had 'negative views' because he's struggling with his own sexuality but if he's voicing them he's a massive idiot anyway.

There's no relationship left. Don't waste your time worrying about what it means. Plan your exit.

@Badbaddog

Why did you entitle this ‘trigger warning’? Why would you ‘obviously’ not want anal?

In answer to your question, the lack of intimacy and compatibility probably mean your relationship is over and you need to work on Co-parenting effectively.

It was titled Trans Women, and I don't personally want anal sex every single time my partner tries to be inmate but that's a personal preference. No need to be like that :)

@SamphiretheStickerist

Maybe it was TransWomen not Trigger Warning

And nobody wants anal as the only sex just because that's their partner's preference.

OP - you leave. You don't have a mutual relationship any more. Try and get a reasonable ending and break up and work on being cooperative parents.

It's so weird he is still jokey etc but doesn't like cuddling or kissing, will only have sex without the lights on if I agree to anal and doesn't like to look at my body at all anymore

The transgender porn and his obvious homophobia would suggest that he's possibly confused about his sexuality. That suspicion would be heightened by the fact he only wants to do anal with the lights off.

But, regardless of that, the way he is treating you is appalling. He doesn't show you any affection, doesn't give you any pleasure in bed, doesn't even look at your body... Fuck that, I'd be out of there!

Please don't waste your time trying to "fix him" or figure out what's he's thinking. Find someone who treats you properly.

Sorry, I hope I didn’t cause offence 😊

Erm. He's gay? Wants sex with men? That's the only answer I can come up with based on what you have said.

I would be filing for divorce if married, packing my bags (and the baby's) if unmarried.

I'd suggest he has zero respect for you, to just want to soddamise you everytime would suggest he's just using you. Clearly he's perhaps not quite ready to accept his sexuality, however that's not your worry. It's time to bring it to an end and let him sort his self out.

You deserve better than this, OP.

Your self esteem is being completely decimated by how he's treating you sexually. Pushing you to have anal when you don't want to is coercive, and not OK.

You don't have to tolerate this, you know?