Enough quality time together/boyfriend daughter an issue

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I know I'm going to get flamed here but just needed some other opinions as I'm really down and upset with the situation.
Dating boyfriend for 6 months, I'm late 20s, him early 30s. he has a 5yr old child from previous relationship. I've no children.
He said i should start seeing the child more now to try and build a bond with her as everything is going well with us as a couple and we have both agreed we want to settle down together with more children hopefully in the future.

Firstly my boyfriend has a job that means he is away from home all week. He goes away Monday and is back Friday afternoon. The ex has always been stubborn about contact time so the only time my boyfriend can see his daughter is on a sunday all day, through the night until monday morning. She wont let him have her any longer because more over nights would mean less maintenance for her.

The job was never this full on when we met and he could usually squeeze a night or two back home but now there is not chance of this.
I do spend time with him and his daughter on their day together but i am really struggling to form any sort of bond with her. She is rude, does not listen, has no manners etc and no boundaries/rules reinforced at home where she is most of the time. If anything i am starting to resent her.

Because of the job and not living together and the daugter time we only see each other for one day a week. If i spend time with the daughter thats 2 days but its not really couple time its for her and i get that completely.
Can a relationship work out if you only see the partner once a week? Can it work long term if i can't form a bond with his little girl?
I am so depressed with the whole situation not knowing what to do. Do i leave now and find someone else while i can and still young enough to have a family of my own or continue trying and risk being a few more years delayed into family plans of it goes wrong. Not been eating or sleeping. I absolutely love my boyfriend and have to accept he daughter is part of the package but the ex is very awkward and makes things difficult too. That is also another point, hes wrapped around his exs finger because she just threatens to take away contact. Decisions get made without me, i feel like such an outsider. Will it every get easier or just more harder as we navigate milestones like moving in together etc.

I don't think you are in a place to be in a relationship with someone with a child. You clearly want to be okay with his DD, but you aren't. And you are very quick to blame his ex (when, exactly, is this man going to spend MORE time with his dd if he works away during the week? I'm finding it hard to think she's just about the money. More likely, he's bad mouthing her to you and you're just absorbing it all. Understandable, but another red flag).

It's okay that you don't want to be in a relationship with a man with a child. You're young and there's no reason why you should feel obligated to spend a lot of time with a young child.

End it now. it's only been 6 months and you can go and find a man who is more flexible and doesn't have any dependents.

It's okay that you don't want to be in a relationship with a man with a child. You're young and there's no reason why you should feel obligated to spend a lot of time with a young child. I absolutely agree with this.

A lot to unpack here.

I think your boyfriend can make a legal application via(someone who knows about this stuff could explain better) to see his daughter more. I think it's a court order.

But if I have understood correctly, he doesn't have any time during the week to see his daughter and it's not unreasonable of the mum to want to see her at the weekend, so surely the only change could be to a whole weekend every other weekend? This wouldn't give you more time with him in any case.

So surely his job is the issue? Can you see him Friday night - Sunday AM?

As for your relationship with the daughter - this will need time and patience etc etc and I'm not sure you want to put this in?

You absolutely should not be thinking ahead to planning children with this man when you are already starting to resent the child he already has. Are you there every Sunday when he has his daughter? How much time a week / month does she get on her own with her dad?

As a girlfriend of 6 months you should not be involved in any decision making around his child. But also, if he always works away, when else should he see her? It sounds like he is already seeing her as much as he can, unless he is wishing to change his job to accommodate more. And bear in mind, should you have children with him, are you happy with him only parenting your children one day a week?

You are absolutely within your rights to say its not working, or you don't want a partner with dc's. After 6 months I'd be walking away now before it gets any harder.

If he wanted more time with his daughter he could go to court and get it but when is he going to make time for extra contact anyway, why are you blaming his ex for limiting contact when you've said he has no extra time anyway?

Thanks for the opinions, it just confirms what is on my head rather than my heart.

No i don't spend every sunday/contact time with them i have only started seeing her. It is early days with her and maybe it is because i haven't spent enough time with her. It will take time and patience and i have only seen her like 4 times so far. But yesterday was breaking point. After trying to connect I was mentally and physically drained.

The job was never this full on when we met and he could usually squeeze a night or two back home but now there is not chance of this.

This rings alarm bells to me. It's like he had time when he was reeling you in, but now he's hooked you, he doesn't have time. Be careful he's not grooming you to be his live in nanny/cook/sex partner/house-keeper/financial contributor.

When was your last nice night out?

6 months is nothing, I would walk away now.

I think work was just a but calmer at that point, they are short staffed at the minute and the work is all over the uk. It could be that he was lucky with fairly local jobs last year and now covid has gone and things have opened up he is being sent to jobs down south etc.
He is fairly new to he job, starting just before lockdown.

I do make a point of doing something every Saturday when i see him. Although money can be tight for activities. And seeing him only on a Saturday means i sometimes for go my social/friend events. But this weekend we went the cinema, last week bowling. He made the effort to plan and take time off for valentines which was the last proper 'date night'

I just know that we cant have special dates like valentines or birthdays together most of the time.

You're young enough that there's still lots of child-free guys in your age range in the dating pool. Sounds like you need someone you could see more frequently and have a proper dating experience with without the complications of exes and kids. If you are not feeling it with his daughter now it could get worse and that's not fair on the little girl and your partner will feel resentment towards you as she'll always (rightly) come first. Yes, it will only get messier the more entangled you get, I'd let it go now. Good luck

OP, leave now and find someone child free. This is the best time, age wise, to find a pool of child free men. Find one. I never dated a man with children, I knew I did not want to form a family with a man who was already committed to a child, nor to one who was not committed to his child !

6 months is enough to know this is not for you - and I have never yet met a child that I liked more after seeing them 4 times, usually you know with a child who they are from day 1, as they don’t bother pretending, like adults often do. Do not blame yourself - living with someone else’s children is not for everyone. And there is nothing wrong with that

I think you should move on. This child has had enough disruption in her life without a girlfriend who resents her.