Apologies, this turned out way longer than I thought it would.
A few weeks ago DH went round a friends house to watch some football and a rugby match, when those concluded him and the friend went into town. He asked me if he could go and I said yes because he’s had a shit time recently with a close relative passing away, DH hadn’t really been out for the past two years because of Covid-19 and because I gave birth to our daughter just before it all went to shit in 2020.
I should mention that DH’s friend is physically disabled, you’ll see why in a minute.
Whilst they were out DH was in regular contact with me, sending me photos as they basically went on a pub crawl, he was pissed but in a good mood. At about 12 he messaged to say they were making their way home, the cab was dropping the friend off first and then he’d stay in the cab to come home. Sure enough within half hour he was home, I was awake anyway so we were talking whilst he was drinking water.
It became apparent that at some point the friend had placed DH in a difficult position, the friend wanted to go into a strip club, DH said no way and the friend said you haven’t got to have a dance, just help me in and I’ll buy you a beer. So DH grumbled, said okay and helped him into the building, friend brought him a beer and he sat with his back to the stage, facing the bar.
DH is not a prude and neither am I, he was however not comfortable being there and he made it clear to his friend so in the end they both left and got the cab back to their respective homes. I understand his friend put him in an awkward position but DH is not the type of person who would abandon a drunk friend, disabled or not.
However this is where it gets odd, whilst I’m sitting there with DH I get a message from my ex SIL, she walked out on my BIL three years ago and none of us had spoken to her since. I could tell from the messages that she was absolutely hammered but she accused DH of getting a private dance in the strip club, she was in there with a party and saw him. I relayed this to him and he was really confused, he said no he didn’t have a dance, they both sat there having a beer and DH then said to his friend come on let’s go home. He said yes a few of the girls spoke to them both but as soon as it became obvious they didn’t want a dance they’d move on.
DH can’t lie to save his life, even more so when drunk and I believed him however I wanted to be sure. I didn’t respond to ex SIL but in the weeks since I’ve checked his bank account and the joint, his wages get paid into the joint account anyway, there’s no activity on his account and every payment from the joint account is legit, he did take some cash with him, only £100 that he’d got from selling something and he came back with £20 and some loose change, the £80ish is accounted for, £20 to his friend for drinks at his, (proven as his friend sent him a Deliveroo screenshot before he left to go round), £20 on cab to get home and £40 in town, bearing in mind they went in 5-6 different bars/pubs I’m amazed he came back with £20.
His behaviour hasn’t changed, he didn’t mope around the next day, he got on with stuff and playing with our daughter, he felt a bit rough but he didn’t moan.
I don’t understand why ex SIL sent what she did, there’s no proof, no suspicious transactions, his friend would not have paid and he even asked DH for beer money. I wonder if she’s angry that none of us have spoken to her since she left and saw an opportunity.
I don’t know what to do, I’m 99.9% sure now but is that enough?