Mum guilt

[okelydokelyneighbourino]

I've been a lone parent for 5 years. My children have no contact with their dad due to abuse so I'm all they have. They are 12,14 &17 and recently I met someone I have been talking to online for 2 years and we are really getting on well. The problem is when I meet up I feel this massive guilt at not spending time with the children. We have met up twice once for coffee and the other for lunch so I haven't been out that long but I still feel bad for leaving them. I know this is probably not normal especially as the oldest is old enough and fine to look after the younger ones but has anyone else felt this way and did it get better?

You are entitled to your own life and in a very few years all three children will be independent. You are obviously a good mother who cares about your children but you are also a grownup who needs grown up company. Don’t feel guilty - the children probably enjoy a few hours without you too.

I leave my 3 year old more than that OP. Usually when he's asleep though and I have a babysitter.
You have needs and wants, that are not just being a parent. Go for it!
I seriously bet the teenagers don't mind and enjoy some alone time at those ages.

Thanks for the replies. I know it's true but I just feel bad. I had loads of social service checks when my ex left as him and a member of his family (him physically and the other sexually) were abusing the kids while I did nights. So I'm very protective of them and fear I will be seen as a bad mum. I know that's crazy but it's a hard mindset to break.

You'll be a much better mum to your kids if you have the odd break doing stuff for yourself. It's good for your mental health and good for them to see that motherhood dsnt mean permanently neglecting your own life for your child's expense

I agree with the other posters - and would add that you should however keep the two worlds separate.