Son asking if he can get a dad..

[seashells1]

I've been a single mum to my son (6) since he was a baby. I left his father because of domestic abuse and threats against both son and I.
His father is no longer on the scene and I have full custody. Went through all the appropriate legal channels and got protective court orders to protect son and I against his father.
Son and I live in a completely new area where father would struggle to find us, so I feel relatively safe here and have a good supportive network of friends and family.

My son has recently started asking (not all the time, just maybe once every couple of weeks), "do I have a daddy?" and "please can I get a daddy?". Breaks my heart to see him looking on when he sees his friends with their dads, all of whom seem to be lovely family-orientated men.

How can I address and explaine his dad's absense in an age-appropriate way?

@Redburnett you have got to be joking. OP was ABUSED by a horrible man who threatened her and her son. Shame on you for that comment

Do fuck off @Redburnett. Shit men are not shit because of women. They are shit because they are shit. Op’s ex was a terrible father and partner. That is ALL on him. So give your head a wobble.

I was hoping Redburnett was some kind of weird troll but I’ve googled there name and they have a lot of posting history, what a weird and nasty comment to make. Just goes to show the stigma is still there towards single mums as much as people like to deny it

Not googled I meant the Mumsnet search..

@AHungryCaterpillar

I was hoping Redburnett was some kind of weird troll but I’ve googled there name and they have a lot of posting history, what a weird and nasty comment to make. Just goes to show the stigma is still there towards single mums as much as people like to deny it

Probably has a son who is a complete twat, so finds blaming women for the actions of men comforting.

Op, can your father play an active part in his upbringing ? Or do you have a brother ?

I’ve reported that unhelpful, nasty comment.

Op, it’s such a sad situation for your son, I was in a similar situation but somehow my kids never asked why their father wasn’t around.
I hope you don’t feel guilty, I know I did, as you’ve absolutely done the right thing for yourself and your child.
A pp mentioned getting a photo out but I don’t think that’s a good idea, that will be really triggering for you and I don’t think your son needs to see it.
I think you need to reiterate about different types of families again and tell him that his daddy wasn’t able to be a daddy to him and that’s it’s ok because he has you (and then name which ever other family members he is close to)

I've always said they have a father ( all children have fathers - we're all biologically created from one man and one woman) but not a dad. And that's a bit sad. And acknowledged that.