Did you have to police your (separated) parents when your baby was born?

[scruffymomma]

hello there

Would appreciate any experience on this one.

My first is due in spring and will also be the first dgc in my family.

My parents split a year ago after my dad had an affair, he immediately shacked up with the OW when mum found out and mum is still furious about it - though moving on.

My mum has already made tentative plans about what she'll do when lo arrives as I live 400 miles from them but my dad (who I should mention has moved to planet "loved up teen" in the past year) has never mentioned it till the other day when he asked if I had thought about "how he was going to fit in around all of this"

To be honest I hadn't thought about it at all - I had assumed that being a grown man, he would make his own arrangements re: mum and I would not have to be feckin' Jeremy Vine. He's a big coward and will basically do anything to avoid having to face my mum but I really hadn't thought that it would be up to me to co-ordinate visits when I've just had a baby.

He did the same when we got married recently and it really pissed me off. My mum will also take any chance to flame him - I'm worried that if I leave him to his own devices he'll turn up with his new gf (who I've yet to meet) and it could all turn a bit eastenders.

I just want to enjoy my new baby fgs, not sort out my warring parents!!

Hi scruffymomma (good name, by the way),

Sorry to hear about your family traumas.

I have a bit of experience and you have my sympathy! My parents have been divorced for 10+ years and dad has remarried, so you'd have thought we'd all be past this by now, but no! I was in hospital for a week when my DS was born in October, and ended up having to tell them both off in the middle of the ward to get them to behave! It wasn't exactly eastenders, but there was a lot of competition between them.

I have found the best way is just to take charge, despite the fact you don't want to or feel like you should have to (I felt EXACTLY the same as you!). But if you don't, everything just gets out of hand and anything can happen. Becoming a grandparent can turn people quite loony, in my opinion. Especially the first grandchild!

Well done to you for thinking about it in advance, at least you'll have time to come up with an action plan before your baby comes.

I'd be interested to hear how it goes!

oh lordy, 10 years!! I was hoping this would all be over soon and they would remember that they are grown adults.....

oh well, might have to do some tactful planning and bring the ear plugs. At least the midwives are effing FIERCE!