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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

upset my sister, have apologised, she's still upset, what next

4 replies

elfsmum · 04/01/2008 11:08

there is a visiting ice rink in our city, I was talking to my sister and said we (me, DH and DS's) were going to book tickets to go

she said, oh that sound's good, i wouldn't mind going to that

I then said how you book tickets, either by going in or ringing

me, DH and DC's went into town to go and couldn't get on that day, so we had to book the following day

speaking to my sister that night she said that I knew she had wanted to go, that I had "snided" off with DH and that I only do things with her if he's not around.

I apologised and said I hadn't realised she had wanted to go with me, as she hadn't said "book for me too" and had just said i wouldn't mind going, so I said I'd book again and we could all go together, she refused and said I'm only saying that as DH has gone back to work

me and DH work full time so really only get our weekends and holiday time as a family - that said I do make arrangements to do things with my sister without DH, we go swimming with our DC's, I take her children to the cinema if I'm taking mine etc

DH and I have theatre tickets later this month, arranged with my friend and her DH, my sister hasn't seen this particular play in 20 years and said she'd love to go and why didn't I book for her, DH has seen it and isn't bothered about going again so he's said my sister can go on his ticket

So I think we do make an effort to make sure we arrange things that include her and her DC's, and I don't use her

I've apologised a second time to my sister and offered again to get tickets for the skating - she's refused again - it leaves tomorrow

DH has said she needs to get over herself I'm entitled to do things just with him and the DC's and not to worry

When she has a partner she does things as a family with them that don't include us/me

I am a bit stressed atm, and this is upsetting me

OP posts:
Twiglett · 04/01/2008 11:10

DH is right she needs to get over herself

does she book things and include you?

Saturn74 · 04/01/2008 11:12

Your DH is right!

There was a misunderstanding.
You apologised - twice!

It sounds like she's being a bit of a martyr and a drama queen now.

I'd get a babysitter and take DH to the theatre.

Leave your sister to come round in her own time.

fireflyfairy2 · 04/01/2008 11:15

You are her sister not her fecking master.

Tell her to get out there & grab a life for herself, you can't read her mind all the time & why the hell should you!!

Of course you do things with dh when he is home, that's only natural!

You've apologised twice, let her stew in her own juices. Get tickets for your own kids & go see the show before it leaves town!

elfsmum · 04/01/2008 11:15

she has included me on things, but has also left me out too

I know she's going out tonight, I haven't been invited, but if I really wanted to go I could ask and I know she'd say yes

she doesn't tend to book things to go on, that's my type of thing, hers is usually nights out

which I'm sometimes on and sometimes not

OP posts:
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