This is a generalisation but I think it is fair to say that men in general have more difficulty expressing feelings than women do. Certainly British men who are in their sixties now. I hope things are changing for the better among younger men..
Can I start with a disclaimer that I am not someone who emotes all over the place generally. I try and be reasonable and emotionally continent most of the time and try and understand my husband's pov without squeezing it out of him. I don't cry often. If I show any emotion at all it is anger that flares brightly but then is over very quickly.
My husband on the other hand hardly shows any emotion ever. He is NT , he is not autistic in case anyone is thinking that. He is what I would describe for the sake of giving context, a typical upper middle class English man who speaks with great tenderness and love to his dogs but finds it hard to express emotion to me his wife. He has jokey male friendships and is expansive and funny with colleagues but I wouldn't say he is close to anyone really except me. The friendships he does have he found through me. He does show his love for me in various practical ways and our sex life is fine but I am not English and after 30 years of marriage, I find this all a bit cold as I would like some affection and sense of closeness outside of the bedroom. I rarely raise emotional subjects and he doesn't make me feel silly when I do, he just finds it hard to comprehend what I am trying to say. I guess he is just very independent and self contained. I do love him very much but it's hard to keep loving someone who doesn't seem to need you emotionally.
He only starts conversations with me about benign general subjects such as the news, the food he eats, maybe travel and the odd work problem. He doesn't like talking about emotions or "us". I am a grown up and pragmatic that we are not in the first flush of romance but just occasionally, it would be nice to have a close adult conversation. We joke about things but it's not the same.
I have good female friendships where I can talk about things that are important to me, but I suppose I feel a bit lost at this point in my life. After a lifetime of raising children, I thought my DH and I would grow closer together. I thought he he did need me emotionally but I am no longer sure.
I would like to try and understand why men behave like this, what is behind it, whether I am doing something wrong, if there is a better way of understanding this? Can any men on Mumsnet , as well as women, enlighten me? I have always assumed that the feelings are all there, under the surface, but are difficult to express but I am beginning to wonder now if men are just more content living life in a much less deep emotional landscape than women and prefer to keep things superficial?