Lonely

[Swishswash88]

I got home tonight and I just can’t stop crying my eyes out (maybe blame the wine).

Background is I’ve been single a year (I was heartbroken when I got dumped out of the blue), I’ve dated about 6 guys in that time and none of them were right (either for me or them). I just feel so lonely. I worry about not meeting anyone and being alone forever. I feel like none of my friends or family actually realise how hard it is to live alone. It’s my own fault because I put a brave face on and they have no idea but it’s just so much sometimes and every few months I end up in this state of complete loneliness.

I just wish I could move away and start afresh but it’s so much easier said than done.

I feel like if I had more friends I’d be a bit happier, but my best friends are all settled down and getting married/having babies. I have tried new social things but I haven’t met any new friends.

I guess I just want to know if this is a normal feeling. I don’t want to be bitter, I want to be happy for people but sometimes it’s just too much. Is it ok to wallow for a few days before slapping the brave face back on and pretending you’re ok?

Absolutely it's OK to 'wallow' - it will be cathartic.

If you can talk to any of your family or closest friends, you might also find that helpful. I think your feelings are very normal, but most people are like you and 'put a brave face on'. There's nothing wrong with doing that, but no one will think less of you for admitting to loneliness.

Do you want to be settled down with babies and a husband? Why do you think a romantic partner will curb your loneliness?
Most romantic relationships are quite idealised. It only takes a quick look on the Relationships board to realise that.

Maybe it’s time you started telling the truth about how lonely you are. People can’t help if they don’t know there’s a problem.

Yes agree with the previous poster. Maybe it's time to show that you're struggling and then people can support you. Putting on a brave face is not always the best thing to do because it's a bit fake. Be real. Be your true self.
I know the longing for a relationship is powerful but you can still feel very lonely when you're with someone.

I'm the same......I just feel like I'm not special or important to anyone and never will be

OP I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Wine definitely does not help these feelings

Blushing, hugs to you too.

So many romantic relationships aren't worth having tbh, I agree with whoever said that 100%

I empathise OP. I'm older than you (by the sound of it) and I've been single for 10 years - mostly by choice because I don't want to settle for someone wrong for me. But it doesn't stop the loneliness. Are you in a position to consider a flat/house mate for company? The more time you spend alone the more time you will dwell on your alone-ness.

I hear you! Single independent woman in her thirties here. Would you like a chat, op? Promise it’s not just you. Xx

Dating 6 people in the span of a year since being single is a lot! Have you ever been happy, truly happy being single? Because if you're not, you will find dating a struggle and subconsciously you'll have an air of urgency/desperation.

I think finding a way to make friends, invest in hobbies, and be comfortable with alone time will do you more good than just dating. Because atm all your hopes and dreams for a fulfilling life are placed on one person, your partner and that can be a meaty task for most. Also not something you can control. Think if you took all that time you are putting into dating, into yourself and finding ways to entertain and occupy yourself, how much happier you'd be... Dating success will then easily follow as it will be less pressured and you'll come across as having this amazing life men want to be a part of.

Wallowing is fine. Just don't make dating and relationships the be all and end all. The best gift you can give yourself is being really and truly happy with your own company.

I feel you OP.
Mid 30's with a 7 year old daughter who spends equal time with her dad so a lot of free time and it's usually spent alone!

Here if you need a chat x

I'm exactly the same. Mid 30's too. 😞