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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Asked to pick a side, now I’m in the wrong

3 replies

SiblingsFallingOut · 05/03/2022 17:24

My mum and my aunt (her sister) fell out and stopped talking.

My aunt never told me her side.

But my mum was constantly on about, saying what had happened, why she didn’t like her sister etc. I never commented on it. But she kept adding more and more details trying to get me to hate my aunt, it was obvious that was her aim.

Eventually a few months down the line my mum asked me for my opinion. I refused to give it. She pushed and pushed, and eventually told me I had to pick which side I was on.

So I told her straight that as she’d asked for it I thought that she had been quite horrible to her sister, it was no wonder she reacted how she did to my mum and although I didn’t want to pick a side as she was forcing me to I am on aunts side.

This has apparently shocked everyone, including the other none involved sister, everyone thinks adult children should side with their parents and now my mums not talking to me either.

She did the same when she divorced my dad, tried to turn me against him, kept adding more and more to the story, would ask me for details when I’d met up with him, and would analyse everything. She’d also try to slag him off to anyone who’d listen (I was 18 when they split up).

So now I’m the one whose hated (along with my aunt) by my mum and the none involved aunt, my sibling is being distant with me too. The only person actually talking to me properly is my grandparents whose aren’t getting involved in their kids squabbles (which I understand)

I just feel it’s a bit petty. The aunt she’s fallen out with understandably doesn’t want to give my mum even more reason to hate her, so is also not speaking to me.

I just feel it’s all childish.

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 05/03/2022 17:27

I'd distance yourself from your entire, immature, dramatic family if I were you.

Stick with your friends. Your family are toxic.

Quitelikeit · 05/03/2022 17:27

It’s your mother who is at serious fault here. In the future never ever give an opinion on such situations and advise her you are keeping out of it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/03/2022 17:29

You poor thing. How horrible. Distance yourself from anyone being a dick to you - which sounds like the lot of them.

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