Improving a marriage when you each have different needs

[bobbleb]

Hello. I am after your advice for how to better relate with my husband. We are recovering from tough times in our relationship. We keep falling out. I find it hard to let things go. He is the opposite. I process by talking, he finds talking exhausting. We don't want to give up. Have you found ways to accommodate your different needs and coping styles in resolving things.

It depends how extreme you both are, i.e. if you want to dissect every comment there and then but he wants to go off on his own for a few hours/days etc to contemplate.
I guess you'll have to meet in the middle. Could you find someone else to confide in, to deal with your immediate need to discuss? Could try to not run away from the argument/upset so quickly? Maybe agree to disagree in the meantime.

What about writing everything down to get it out immediately - but let him go cool off and then later when he's ready you can decide if you want him to read it or if you just needed to get it out and can just bin it.

If you find things hard to let go is that because you're not getting the answers you need from him? What sort of thing can you not let go - him forgetting to put the bins out and you not letting it go would be rather different than him having a ONS and you struggling to let it go.

Read men are from Mars and women are from venus chapter 3