I’m depressed and feel sad for DP

[cherrycoke8]

I have a lot going on right now with my job and health problems- I’ve been feeling really down for a few weeks now. Things have really got to me and I’m now in the process of sorting extended annual leave.

DP is nothing short of amazing. He’s so supportive, does the best he can. Tries to always pick me up when I’m down. We don’t live together and are early 20s.

But I’m fully aware that I’m really exhausting at the moment and it’s probably so draining for him. He admitted to me that his brain is a little tired from it all, but said it’s not my fault and he will always be here to support me.

I found a message from a few months ago telling me how amazingly happy he was, he was so enthusiastic in what he was saying, how he admired how much fun, laid back and bubbly I was; how he always is itching to see me when we’re apart.

As pathetic as it sounds, reading it made me cry. I don’t doubt his love for me but it’s been a long time since he said these kind of things to me and I know it’s my fault. I know I’m not that person atm and haven’t been for weeks.
I want to just act my normal self and make him feel this way again. But I just can’t snap out of it. I don’t want it to affect our relationship as it’s so important to me and I know he’s so so so lovely and good for me.

I’m already taking steps with therapy and medication but therapy is a waiting list and I feel like I’ve tried everything. I don’t know what more to do as I want things back to normal

Bump, I just want to fix it before it gets too late

Aw I know the feeling of guilt... it's hard. But maybe one day you'll be there for him through tough times. You're sick and you don't have anything to feel guilty about so don't put any more pressure on yourself

Thank you
Just want it to be how it was, it must be hard for him

I'm sorry you're not feeling well, but you really do need to be conscious about how much you're unloading onto your boyfriend. There's only so much anyone can take, and he's not your therapist. Perhaps do some journalling when you need to vent.

You need to rest and gradually get yourself well again. I totally understand your sadness on his behalf.

My partner is amazing and has supported me through some long, long bouts of ill (mental) Health. I have been wracked with shame and guilt but over the years have been there for him too.

Your partner loves you, you are obviously a good person who has deep empathy for him. Accept the love, you deserve to be happy. Don't ever think otherwise. Your life can be lovely, calm and peaceful. Believe me, give yourself a break. Rest yourself and look for the little things you can enjoy and it does eventually get better. My first step at one point was washing my face. It felt that much of an achievement. You can move on.

Hi @cherrycoke8 I’m sorry that you are unwell at the moment. I am also in the same position as my bf has been so supportive with my ongoing MH problems. I currently take meds and have therapy. The only advice is not to be too hard on yourself, take one day at a time. I found short walks even when you really don’t want to helps. Be with people that lift you up, have a soak in the bath anything to relax you. I truly wish you all the best. Xxx

Sorry you are feeling low. For me it helps to concentrate on the basics - good sleep, good food, good eating pattern, drink, get outside in the sunshine and get exercise. Dont put too much pressure on yourself, it makes things worse. You might not be able to do as much as you would normally do and thats fine.