Tips on ensuring you don't get financially screwed over when (re)marrying

[piddocktrumperiness]

Hi everyone
I got divorced a while ago and my exH took me to the cleaners really. I came out of the divorce with next to nothing even though it was me that paid the deposit on the house, the refurbishing and so on.

That's in the past. I paid off all my debt and built my credit back up and have v low outgoings. I really have downsized and simplified my life. I live in my own small flat and have been entrusted by my father to manage two properties that are his retirement-he paid the deposit but couldn't get a mortgage (the mortgage and deeds are in my name but all money goes to my dad). I merely manage it.

I am currently in a loving relationship that may well one day lead to marriage and the thought of being financially screwed over terrifies me. I'd appreciate any guidance on how to ensure my dad's flats are protected, and any guidance or tips from anyone here who may have experience or advice/tips on how to protect assets and financial security or basically what to do or not do second time round financially speaking?

@FinallyHere
I pay the taxes on the properties as it counts as my income (even though it is not really)

There are lots of very valid points and it's given me lots to think about. I suppose marriage to me, means a deeper commitment. I am from a somewhat religious family, have had that upbringing too and probably veer on more traditional than not. But marriage does seem to only benefit the weaker party it seems. My DP earns v well, 5 times more than me but has no assets to his name, no properties or investments. This would be his second marriage too. I'm sure neither of us would want to be screwed over. I am thinking that if the commitment is displayed or confirmed to each other, in front of family and friends, then surely that should suffice? I don't see any issues with a non binding commitment, other than the lack of romance or the deep down feeling that we're not really married

I'm not wealthy but after I've finished rebuilding from a divorce, I will never marry again.

Firm no to remarrying. Ever. For the reasons everyone has outlined above. Yes courts take prenups into account but they are not legally rock solid.
As an aside if you go the commitment ceremony etc route do still make sure you take advice as even long term cohabiting is better done with a cohabiting agreement. They are very straightforward to set up.

I wanted to mention that I don't earn much really, I'm on significantly less than the median salary in the UK, and earn the least out of my siblings, but my credit score was stellar and so out of my siblings I was the only one able to get a mortgage on behalf of my dad.

So marriage would theoretically offer me more financial security.

My issue is the properties really- I don't want to lose them, I am just a name on a document. I am wondering if I should pass the deeds and mortgage to another sibling now.

RE Scotland, Pre nups are binding there, so could marry there no?

I think you should explore the option of putting the properties in a trust. Get some legal advice on that.

I think you could now (ie before marriage) go tenants in common with your dad where he holds 99.9 % and you hold 0.01%. The mortgage company won't care as
you will still be on the hook for the mortgage. It's not very efficient tax wise for inheritance though but I'm guessing it reflects the reality of the situation. You need to take a bit of tax advice as you don't want to trigger a cgt charge for your dad either. Might have to do the transfer in tranches to use up his personal allowance.

Are your siblings married? If so, same issue.

Might you have to marry, reside and then divorce in Scotland in order to work under Scottish law?

Sopsmum’s suggestion is interesting but if the properties are mortgaged I think you (or your Dad) will have to pay stamp duty to transfer a proportion of the property. Ditto I’d you transfer the flats to your siblings.

The fact is, you own these properties. It isn’t ‘just in paper’, you own them. If you sell them to pay for your Dad’s care or for his income, you will have to pay CGT. Your ownership is a legal and financial fact.

Likewise marriage is essentially a contract. You become partners in a new legal and financial entity.

Do you need law, finance, small print etc to validate your relationship? It isn’t as if you have joint children?

Don't marry.

You are asset rich and salary poor
He is salary rich and asset rich

That is literally the worst combination!!!!

He could completely rinse you/your Dad./-

Why do you need / want to marry?
Do you want to have children?
Just get a dog together

Sorry I meant he is asset poor!

If he earns well AND has no assets I would be even less inclined to legally marry him. An in legal ceremony like a blessing in front of family and friends should do. He can get the ring you can pay for the party to celebrate your unbinding vows. Everything but handing your assets to him on a plate.

If he earns well AND has no assets I would be even less inclined to legally marry him

I tend to agree - why does he have no assets or investments on a good salary? Either there is a big hole in the bottom of his bank account or his earnings may not be as great as reported. Neither is good.

@sopsmum

I think you could now (ie before marriage) go tenants in common with your dad where he holds 99.9 % and you hold 0.01%. The mortgage company won't care as you will still be on the hook for the mortgage. It's not very efficient tax wise for inheritance though but I'm guessing it reflects the reality of the situation. You need to take a bit of tax advice as you don't want to trigger a cgt charge for your dad either. Might have to do the transfer in tranches to use up his personal allowance.

Tenants in common is not legally binding in divorce if the agreement is between the spouses. It makes me wonder if it may not be Bomb proof between the op and her dad either

The problem is that people (foolishly) see marriage as an act of love but its primarily a financial contract between two people that you are merging your lives.

Think if it like a business merger. You wouldn't expect a business to merge with another but keep hold of stuff that was always going to be just theirs.

He can quit his job for a year, go to university for e.g. and then in the divorce, your assets will be split and then after a year or two he can restart working and earning a higher salary again.

@toobusytothink Can I ask why until the kids are adults?

You are asset rich and salary poor
He is salary rich and asset rich
That is literally the worst combination!!!!

Gosh, never thought of it like that Santas.

The set-up with your dad and the flats sounds like it could have lots of legal issues and loopholes generally. I’d see a solicitor immediately for proper legal advice and clarification as to how it affects you now and in relation to any future marriage. There is no point in guessing.

To be honest, I would try and get the mortgages and ownership of the flats back to your father.

Then you will have nothing. See if your bf would like to marry you then .

I'd never get married again, especially now I have bought a flat. I trust my DP not to screw me over but you never know and that's my DS's inheritance. Also after going through divorces neither of us have the same idea of marriage that we used to. No point risking it really.