Divorcing ex - porn issues and safety

[namechangedfordifficultissue]

I'm nervous to post this but I have no idea where to turn to for help in real life.

Stbxh and I are divorcing due to an affair - he's also confessed to a relapse of his porn addiction, which has been a problem throughout our marriage (I had thought it was better, and I have no idea what he actually watches as he won't discuss).

My problem is that he's also admitted to what he calls a 'Lolita' kink. I do have words for how disgusting I find this, not least because we have DD (7). To be clear, as I've understood this is about role play, and in no way an attraction to children, but even so it makes me extremely uncomfortable.

What do I do? How do I ensure she's safe with him? Is she safe with him? I have no proof of anything, or evidence that he would harm her, but for obvious reasons I am deeply uneasy. Custody will be 50/50. I just don't trust him but what do I do? Pretending to save the marriage and staying with him is not an option, the divorce is nearly final and he wants it too.

Lolitas in regular pornography are portrayed to look very young. Pigtails, dummies, diapers, acting innocent and childlike.

A lolita in hentai pornography is basically drawn and animated to be a child.

I think it's beyond f*ed up

I am honestly too scared to look.

Does anyone have any idea of what I do with this? I don't know who to turn to. I don't have anything to take to social services but I'm very very concerned.

I dont even have kids but I would absolutely find this utterly repulsive. I am no prude and have been a long time in the kink scene but I absolutely loathe that age play shit like that. I mean it is literally getting off on childlike women. They argue that "itS nOt ChiLdrEn thO" but yea you are fetishising adult women dressed as kids you big old weirdo.

I really dont know what I would think about this situation really. So hard and am sorry you are going through that. I would be so confused because on the one hand a kink is a kink and not necessarily how someone lives their lives, but this is something a bit more worrying to me than just a kink.

It originates from a book where an adult male is infatuated with a pre-teenage girl. I would absolutely not be allowing him alone with your daughter

Hey. I don't totally understand what it is. But I'm guessing as long as he isn't looking at underaged porn than realistically there's nothing you can do about it.
You have no safeguarding conserns then maybe it's just something you need to talk to him about.

What would this even mean? Can I refuse to send her back to him? Can I go for full custody on something he can just deny? I don't understand what I can actually do? I've spoken to NSPCC who said to phone 101, who have now asked me to speak to an officer which I'm about to do. But I don't understand what happens next - does anyone have any knowledge about this sort of thing?

Your main priority is keeping your child safe.
If you suspect underage sexual content on electronic devices, the police will deal with that. There are quite severe consequences for keeping images.
If it is over 18 pornography, but with images for people to look young that however sickening, its not illegal. Maybe speak to a solicitor once you have more information. When your child is of an age to understand inappropriate touching/ language etc it may be worth having a chat about this to safeguard her also. Horrible situation OP. I am sure someone come along with better advise soon.

Thank you for replies, good to know I'm not alone in my disgust.
Police have made an intelligence report and a safeguarding flag for DD but have of course said there's no much else they can do at this point.
If anyone has any other wisdom I'd be very grateful.

Bumping in case anyone else has any ideas