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Original poster

How long for 2nd date??

15 replies

candles1298 · 03/03/2022 12:54

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice and hopefully to be told I'm massively over thinking.

Been OLD for years and Tuesday night was the first time I've had a 1st date that has left me feeling excited for a couple of years so I'm aware I'm getting massively carried away......(I actually met this guy IRL a few times then he asked me out and we went out last night so didn't meet this one online)

Went really well and I think there was great chemistry. Brief kiss at the end and he asked if I would go on a 2nd date and I said yes. Texted loads after the date and ever since and keeps mentioning about going out again. Now he's just asked when I was next free.

I said I could do next Monday but the next weekend night I was free was not this weekend but the following one. He's text back and said let's do the weekend one.

Am now wondering if he's not as keen as I 1st thought??

I know I sound a bit unhinged but I've been on countless dates where I wouldn't even have batted an eyelid but I've never felt this type of chemistry/excitement

Obviously I'm playing it much cooler to him and just said that weekend would be nice!

I just need to not drive myself nuts before then!

OP posts:
Sunshineandflipflops · 03/03/2022 12:57

I would assume he wants to make more of the date at the weekend, rather than a rushed weeknight evening when you are probably both pre-occupied with work and getting home/up the next morning.

JustAnother30Something · 03/03/2022 13:00

Maybe he isn't free next Monday?

That's what I would have take from it?

Original poster
candles1298 · 03/03/2022 13:03

Either of these would be good tbh. I'm was more concerned of lack of interest.

He had said he was free any night (I have 2 kids but he doesn't have dc) so I'd hoped Monday and if we still got on then the weekend but I'm well aware I'm getting carried away.

It's so so unlike me which is why I'm freaking out

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 03/03/2022 13:20

I would agree that you can make more of it at the weekend. I wouldn't go on a 2nd date on a weeknight. I would when I had been dating longer but then only later in the week. I'm tired after work and rarely go out on Monday because it leaves me tired for the rest of the week! Early night on a Monday for me!

Aniita · 03/03/2022 13:26

Mondays aren't very date-y. I would prefer a weekend as can properly relax and enjoy. On a Monday, I'd be rushing home from work to get showered, changed and made up before heading back out again in time. And then I wouldn't want to be home much after 10/10.30 to get organised for work the day after so the date can only last 2.5/3 hours

Pinkbonbon · 03/03/2022 14:11

I think its fine. But personally I would say something like 'great, looking forwards to it. Will check in with you next week and we'll sort the fine print'. That way you won't be messaging every day until then (no point in getting so invested so early on). Also, it gives you an opportunity to see if he respects boundaries. And to make sure he is not q a love bomber (which may be a possibility if he is acting full on via text yet, being blasé about meeting).

Original poster
candles1298 · 04/03/2022 07:33

Update: we're now going out on Monday too

OP posts:
Rocktheboat56 · 04/03/2022 07:45

Even if you are both keen, there are only so many times a person will ask before they naturally think oh they aren't interested. If you say no to the second time then he may not ask a third.

Seize the moment if you really like him

UnvarnishedTruth · 04/03/2022 08:10

"I know I sound a bit unhinged"

Yes.

Watchkeys · 04/03/2022 08:19

I think it might be a good idea to take your eyes off the minutiae, and work out why this bothers you so much. Otherwise what's going to happen when you talk with him about something more complicated and meaningful than what day you next meet? You're making an Eastenders style drama out of a simple, emotion free discussion. It's not sustainable relationship behaviour.

supercali77 · 04/03/2022 08:37

Omg mumsnet. Stop patholigising lusty unhinged love interest excitement. Enjoy OP

TippledPink · 04/03/2022 08:43

OP is just excited about seeing him again, not sure what is unhinged about that?! When I met OH, we had a great first date and we both couldn't wait to see each other again, we saw each other the next day!

Enjoy your date in Monday OP, hope it goes well!

SunflowerTed · 04/03/2022 09:03

@UnvarnishedTruth

"I know I sound a bit unhinged"

Yes.

You do. Hope you don’t scare him off
AnybodyAnywhere · 04/03/2022 09:08

That’s lovely OP. I hope both dates go really well and that there are many more to come 💐

Original poster
candles1298 · 04/03/2022 09:40

I hope it don't scare him off either!! I've been dating for a long time and it's rare for me to even want a 2nd date......

He either feels the same as I just replied saying next Saturday would be good and I was looking forward to it.

He then text me back and said he'd book something for that night but asked if I also wanted to go for a coffee on Monday night as it felt too long

OP posts:
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