My mother is now elderly and I've been spending more time with her than before. I've realised I don't like her very much. She is very judgemental about people, especially about their weight, for example. She has told me on a number of occasions that I'm overweight or getting very grey.
She complains (to me) that her friend talks too much about things she's not interested in. She's very conservative.
I've also realised I'm angry that she never spent time with my middle and youngest dc, only with the eldest. They consequently have no relationship with her at all.
When I was a child she didn't play with me and she didn't play with my children either. I don't think she knows how to.
I feel like nothing I've done has been good enough for her, that I'm a disappointment. She can't understand that I'm depressed and have anxiety and she refers to it as me being "the way I am ". She still refers to her parents as mummy and daddy and tells me she cried when she got married and had to leave home. She has strange names for bodily functions like tinkle and doing a business or bizzy 
that meant I was laughed at and bullied at school. She never talked about periods really, except to say I had my visitor.
I'm so fed up of it all and wish I could never see her again. From the moment I get there I just want to leave, she drives me mad, all she talks about are TV programmes I'm not interested in or classical music I'm also not interested in, but if I try to talk about something she'll say she can't stand that racket or rubbish.
But I'm an only child, there is no one else to visit her. Her nieces don't visit because they live a couple of hours drive away. She lives in semi sheltered accommodation and has many friends, more than I have. She's independent, can look after herself, has a cleaner once a fortnight.
I don't know what I'm asking for really, advice maybe. I'm not sure if this is a toxic relationship, or if she's a narcissist, or just a bit shallow and unable to think outside her box.