How do people find out about partners affairs long time afterwards

[CaramelMacchiatto]

I'm genuinely interested as I always thought they're more likely to find out when it's actually happening rather than months or even years after. I often read people mention it here without providing details how this was discovered. Anyone experienced this?

Friend of DP’s had a genetic condition come up in the family and his dc had to be tested. It turned out that one of them wasn’t his.

@HeartsAndClubs

Friend of DP’s had a genetic condition come up in the family and his dc had to be tested. It turned out that one of them wasn’t his.

How does one explain that?

So many people find out after the relationship is over.... And also so many complete accidental findings . I somehow used to think it's easier to discover while it lasts rather than years later. Also shocking how many people never come clean despite the facts...

@CaramelMacchiatto

So many people find out after the relationship is over.... And also so many complete accidental findings . I somehow used to think it's easier to discover while it lasts rather than years later. Also shocking how many people never come clean despite the facts...

I would have respected my ex a lot more had he told the truth. Instead he gaslit me into thinking I had lost my marbles.

I forgot about my colleague he had a fling and his affair partner fell pregnant.
Him and his wife are still together. I don't think his scenario is pleasant. The OW is making his life hell.

Journo

Found out 5 years ago about stuff from 15 years ago (have been married 26) H was away with work and I was looking for something I couldn’t find- went into his office and into his drawers and certainly was surprised by a pile of sub mills and boon love poems/songs- and a load of recordings on CD of him singing and playing these songs. I knew who they were about because the content and songs gave it away— very young ex employee of ours who he had various work trips with he was 41, she 21– . He says it was just a one sided crush (there was a lot of texting too as I went back over very old phone bills) he says she wouldn’t have known— I’m not so sure- he was always popping over to their house (they lived across the road) and an awful lot of going to the gym , haircuts, newer clothes etc at that time. Having read this stuff (and there was lots of it, not just a one off ) and heard him singing and playing it— I’ve never felt quite the same. If I had found out at the time I would have left- it’s a greyer area a long time later, but he certainly killed a lot of specialness for me. His excuse— it was mental escapism as his mother was terminally ill— it was something pleasant to distract him. He is adamant it wasn’t more than that —- me, I’m not so sure— he had tons of opportunity and this woman/girl always seemed to be a bit ‘off’ with me.

3 years after.....we were in councelling ironically due to her possessiveness & jealousy. She admitted to it with a friend of mine. She said we didn't have sex as we didn't think it was fair on you. My friend would basically shagged anything that had a pulse, I didn't believe it back then or now. I left her for a year but went back as I missed my children to much.

Saw the messages where they were discussing oral sex in some fb group.
Other lies I found out accidently through photos, slip up from friends, etc.

.