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Relationships

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Questions on sex drive

4 replies

Pinkgin9 · 28/02/2022 20:39

October. I've been with my boyfriend 7 months and we've been involved for 17 months.

We were very flirty and dirty in those early months of talking. Very attracted to eachother.

When we first got together we had sex everytime we saw one another. Infact he was struggling to last long because he was enjoying it.

He had a bad back when we met and he began walking alot and obviously having sex too. It didn't take long for his pain to get worse and worse. He's got a scan next week but it's likely his operation has become loose and he's going to need surgery. He's tried various pain killers since October. They've affected his moods and sleep. He's on amitriptyline and his sex drive has completely gone.

In 4 months I've used my hands on him twice. He's done something to me once in January. But other than that nothing. He never comes over for a proper kiss. We can be laid in bed pressed against eachother and he falls asleep whilst i stroke his back where it hurts. He never strokes my back or neck. He never seems remotely turned on or tries to touch me.

He has mentioned it and said he knows we should be allover eachother etc. He said his head wants it but his body doesn't.

Tonight his cousin was talking to Me. He was on about him and his new girlfriend getting a new mattress. The subject got onto us and I said until his backs sorted we won't be up to anything other than sleeping. He told me that his back isn't an excuse and it's probably because I've allowed him not to respect my needs. He continued that it can be a turn off if a woman is a yes person as in other areas I've been supporting him.

I feel abit unsure now if he's not attracted to me anymore. What do you think?

OP posts:
EarthSight · 28/02/2022 21:29

His cousin is giving you advice on your relationship and sex life? :/ That would be too close for comfort for me. Maybe you should listen though as his cousin might know him better than you do.

Affection is not necessarily related to sex. Some people are naturally affectionate whilst others onoy see it as a sexual thing, so if sex is off the table you get no affection.

Why is he on amitriptyline? That is no normal painkiller. They do use it as one to address nerve pain but it's essentially an antidepressant which affects your serononin levels, and can be unpleasant to get off of. I can definitely see how it would affect a person's mood, sleep and libido.

EarthSight · 28/02/2022 21:29

Serotonin*

Pinkgin9 · 01/03/2022 05:48

He is on it for chronic back pain including nerve pain. It helps him sleep a little so he's getting no relief but continues so he can get 4 hours sleep in a row

OP posts:
CousinKrispy · 01/03/2022 06:38

Cousin sounds like an idiot. You haven't caused this by your behaviour.

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