Spilt up with partner now worried my son will be an only child

[firsttimemum0720]

Me and my partner recently split up after struggling with issues relating to lack of financial support, him not being in a stable job and not seeing eye to eye with key issues throughout the relationship. We still have a lot of love I would like to work things out but we are really happy a lot of the pressure has been on me to hold things down whilst my partner hasn't been able too and don't want to bring negatively around our child but I can't help but feel awful that my son maybe an only child. I have siblings and we are all so close I just would love the same for my son. I don't know what to do.

Siblings don't always get on, and most only children are absolutely fine that way.

Don't make poor decisions based on a fantasy.

I'm an only child and loved it so you never know how your son would feel.

Would you like to get back with him because of this mostly? Has anything been resolved so far?

Being an only child isn't awful. All it means is that your child might have a different experience in life from yours, and that was always going to be the case - we can't recreate our own childhoods for our kids. Him having a different experience doesn't mean it will be an unhappy experience, and who knows, he could still end up with siblings anyway. If you must borrow trouble, borrow it handier home, as my grandma always used to say.

I loved being an only child.
I would have hated having to share my parents or room with anyone.

I love being an only child! So many benefits. It’s the same as having siblings - obviously some downsides but most people are mostly happy with what they have. I do have a close friend who was an only child, but whose mum went onto have more children with another partner and she hated that, said it ruined her childhood and she’s not close at all with her half-siblings. So doing that can be the worst of both worlds - not the closeness of siblings or the benefits of being an only.

I have 4 kids and they can’t stand each other they fight and argue all day! Having a sibling isn’t a guarantee you will get on, I don’t speak to my siblings at all, better to be an only child than bringing 2 children into a relationship that isn’t working

Better an only child than one growing up with unhappy parents, or with a half sibling conceived through a hasty new relationship. If you have always wanted more than one child it’s understandable that you might grieve what you thought you’d have, but don’t let misplaced concern on your child’s behalf lead you into poor decision making.

I hated my brother growing up and we're not close now. Siblings don't always get along and may fight constantly.
Being and only isn't awful, my daughter loves it, she gets loads of playdates but then has peace and quiet too.

When I was young I wished I was an only child. All the favoritism and bickering was not worth having a sibling lol

My dd is an only (well she has half siblings but lived with me 90% of the time) and she’s fine.

You can’t keep a bad relationship because of a maybe want a sibling wish. That makes no sense. You just have to forge ahead with life as it is I’m afraid.

Don’t make a decision like this only for some fantasy for your child, make it as it’s the right thing to do for you and any new child.

In reality most people prefer their friends to their siblings once they grow up. Yes sone like you are lucky, but many are not.

Either way, a new child is an individual. Not a favour for your current child.

Your (ex) partner is an ex for a reason.

Your son will be fine. You might meet someone else and have other children... are you going to feel guilty then?

If not, I'm sure your son will be fine with a happy, healthy Mum.

I have two siblings and only get on with one of them...

Yes, you could meet someone better and extend your family, ages permitting of course!

My son is biologically an only child but now has 'step brothers and sisters'. He loved being the focus of all the attention (and treats!) growing up and now is actually close with the merged families. Definitely no disadvantage here