Sex drive problems

[MummyBen90]

I dont know what to do. Been married for 20 years, 3 kids aged 8-16 and really love my husband. Hes a great daddy and people like him. I just have one problem thats thretening our marriage. I have a very high sex drive and he doesn't. Sex is OK when we have it but I just want sex more than he does. He doesn't really show much affection either which I find upseting. I feel really frustrated a lot of time and its causing isues with our marriage. Ive considered having an affair but I don't want to do that though because I love him. Im sure its not something hes doing on purpose but I also worry that hes having an affair and showing love somewhere else. Is this what I have to live with for the rest of my marriage? What do I do?

Talk to him, tell him how you feel. Doesn't sound like there is much communication

I'm the same as you although not married and only together 10 years no kids! I have much higher sex drive than him and sometimes It gets really frustrating as they just don't value sex as an important element as we do... I get sex it's okay I just would want it a lot more same as you. I quess it depends how important lack of sex your willing to put up with for rest of your life? Is there other aspects of the relationship that are good? For me while I do love sex and wish it was more in tune with my sex drive it's not the be all end all for me and have accepted this is what I will have, as I enjoy being my partner in other qualities. Maybe could have a chat with him but I have been there had the arguments many times and quess all boils down to how important it is for you. Hope I have helped.... I'm only 28 aswell! 😂

How old are you?
Sometimes sex drive increases in perimeno but then it calms down again!

There is obviously lots to stay for in this relationship. Is this a temporary situation or can you see it effecting you long term?

Can you talk to him about this? Maybe you could meet somwhere in the middle with frequency?

Weve talked lots of times but nothing changes, I'm nearly fourty. I love him and this is the only barier to having a great marriage. 😔

If his sex drive is lower than yours, that’s that really, you can’t make people want to have more sex, and the more you raise it the more defensive he will become

Weve talked lots of times but nothing changes, I'm nearly fourty. I love him and this is the only barier to having a great marriage

I would imagine he thinks the the same as you but for the opposite reason.

I think it can feel frustrating because its more common for men to have a higher sex drive, but this happens the other way too, and it doesnt have to be a barrier to a great relationship.

I was more up for it than my dh was after the first few years, and as everything else was great I had to accept that. In some ways its benefitted me. I focus on lots of other stuff, and quite like the fact he calmed me down a bit😂

I would hate to be pestered for sex when I'm not in the mood.

If you are compatible in every other way and when you do have sex it's great then let it go.

If, on the other hand this is a deal breaker. Then tell him that.

Now that I'm older my drive has decreased and he is now more keen that I am! Things can change!